df asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 week ago

Is this rude?

My roommate keeps offering me food but then expects me to pay her back.  I always thought it was considered rude to offer to share something then demand compensation later-  she should not offer what she is not okay with providing.  

29 Answers

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  • mom
    Lv 7
    7 days ago

    the next time she is offering you food, tell her that you do not want anything. I never heard someone offer me food and then want you to pay them for the food. it makes no sense

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  • patty
    Lv 6
    7 days ago

    when single u tend to have left over food. I'd say she is trying to get you to eat it then pay for it. Just start saying no u are full or are on a diet etc

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  • 1 week ago

    I once went out with a group of friends who ordered tons of appetizers and bottles of wine before I even got there. I ordered one individiall glass of wine and a $24 dinner, and did not eat the left over appitizers that were on the table. When the bill came I was told that my share was $200. I took $40.00 out of my wallet and flat out stated that I did not agree to buy everyone appetizers and wine.

    Yes, my story is somewhat different than yours, except the money part.

    Another time my neighbor called to say that she made an expensive seafood dinner for dinner guests who cancelled and I could come over and have some for $10.00. I lied and said I already ate.

    The bottom line is that some people think they are entitled when they ask for your money in situations like yours and mine. But, that does not mean one has to pay up. 

    I could see how some roommates share a grocery bill if they have planned meals together, but to make food and then ask for money is very tacky, indeed. No doubt about it.

    However, if she shares and you eat a fair share of her food, it would be nice for you to  return the kindness and share meals with her, but leave money out of it.  

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  • 1 week ago

    You are right, but you should have learned after the first time she did so, and avoided putting yourself in the same situation the next time she offered.

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  • e9601:
    Lv 6
    1 week ago

    Tell her no. That's pretty easy.

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  • Anonymous
    1 week ago

    It is a bit strange.

    My guess is she thinks it's rude to prepare food and eat it in front of you without offering you some.   But she can't afford to feed you all the time. 

    And before you get offended, consider someone's intent.  She wasn't TRYING to be rude.   In fact, if you're not reciprocating and you're not paying, she may think you are being rude.

    Communication would be helpful.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 week ago

    That is a bit bizarre, but if you're both starving students somewhat understandable. Just stop taking anything she offers and you should be fine.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 week ago

    Communication.   Tell her if she is going to offer you food to please make it clear she is offering for you to buy the food from her. That she is not sharing her food. 

    Or ask her yourself before accepting any food from her.  Or before accepting anything from her. Sue are you sharing or are you asking me if I want to buy this from you? 

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  • 1 week ago

    So just turn down her offer. It seems pretty simple to me. And yes, her behavior is strange, to say the least! Maybe each time she does it you should ask immediately " what's this going to cost me". Hopefully, she will eventually realize that she should stop offering and expect to be paid!

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  • 1 week ago

    Well, you know now so don't take what they offer.

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