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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

My boyfriend wants to wait until marriage to have sex... and I don't?

He's 27 and a virgin. I'm 23 and not a virgin. We've only been together a short time. He waits to wait because he views sex as sacred. I don't want to wait because I view sex as an important part of compatibility. I feel like this will cause tensions in the relationship as times goes on. I'm also worried about the future. The first time is always a little awkward. What if sex with him is disappointing and starts off the marriage on the wrong foot? I just have so many concerns. I want to at least try to make it work. He is my dream guy other than this and I really care about him... but we have such different views on this. What should I do?

Update:

He ended up breaking up with me anyways. I guess he did have something to hide. Oh well. Thank you, next.

4 Answers

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  • Tepee
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I agree with your concerns since I knew 2 marriages that failed due to sexual incompatibility that wasn't realized until after the wedding. Guys with his attitude are rare and it often means they have something to hide.

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  • 2 months ago

    I smell a troll post.  No guy who thinks sex is sacred would get engaged to a woman who has had multiple previous sexual partners. 

    • Pyrus
      Lv 6
      2 months agoReport

      Uh... I'm a guy, and I think sex is sacred. I wouldn't have sex outside marriage (should I ever get married... if I get a girlfriend first :P)

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  • Pyrus
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Sex is NOT an important part of compatibility. LOVE is. Sex relates to lust, and although it is important in a relationship, it doesn't even come close to what true love has to offer. If he sees sex as sacred, then you should know that he views love and your relationship as a much more valuable asset.

    Here is what can easily go wrong if you have sex now: You have sex, and for some reason you don't like it. Suddenly, everything seems lost. A lot of mixed emotions, and your relationship is crippled. 

    BUT, decide to wait, build your relationship entirely on love, and even if the sex isn't great, you have your love for one another to make up for that. Sex would and could just destroy it all. Are you truly willing to take that risk? 

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  • 2 months ago

    He is admirable to be waiting until marriage. If he is The One, then whether or not it will be good should not concern you, or make you worry. Otherwise, maybe You Are Not the one for him if you cannot see value in his choice. 

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