Was this a wrong way to tell her?
I have a neice who is isn't doing so well in school and isn't motivated or ambitious.
So i spoke to her today.
I asked her why is she simply lazing around all the time.Why doesn't she think of her career and do something?
Then she got angry and told me that I'm seriously mistaken.She does have her plans and she is working hard and she doesn't care if i see it or not and i just mind my own business hereafter.
Does this make me toxic to her?
She doesn't like me in the first place.She is always under the impression that im trying to put her down
- JanetLv 73 weeks agoFavorite Answer
In my experience it is never a good idea to offer unasked-for advice. I could have predicted your niece's reaction.
- 3 weeks ago
I think you are a very controlling toxic person. That's not your child so it's none of your da*n business.
- KandasamyLv 73 weeks ago
certainly not wrong way. it is your duty to iunform her about the need for hard work. whether she accepts or not is her fate
- SnoopyLv 53 weeks ago
Maybe a bit but I think it's nice what you did as it shows you care for her.
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- Anonymous3 weeks ago
People don't get that angry when you lie. They get really angry when you tell the truth and they don't like it. She has no direction, and she knows it and lacks the confidence to do something about it. You don't say how old she is, but she needs some counseling and the sooner the better.
- audreyLv 73 weeks ago
I think you should probably mind your own business.
- Anonymous3 weeks ago
You need to change the way you talk. Instead of making presumptions and question her on how you think she is managing her life, come up with positive and constructive suggestions.
- ?Lv 73 weeks ago
I think it depends on the type of communication you both shared prior. Like, if you were always present in her life.
When I was a kid, my aunts and uncles were the types who believed ‘it takes a village’ and I believed their input and experience was as precious as gold. I did not follow every word but I listened and gave them respect as my elders. There is no reason to doubt that your intentions were meant to help her but she became defensive and does not want to hear it now. Certainly, the delivery could have been different and maybe asking her what is going on in her life for starters? A lot of the young are depressed, angry or feel like the world is on their shoulders and they keep it in or act out. Talk to her Mom to get clarification but don’t give up on her just yet. Good luck.
I think as her aunt, it is more important to let her know you love her and was concerned about her future. You don’t try to be her friend, you already have the status as her aunt. So whether she likes you now is irrelevant. Ideally the Elder relatives are role models. I know the young can be hypersensitive and these days believe they are your equal but it is good when you know better.
- Pearl LLv 73 weeks ago
shes the one that was being rude, not you