After I graduate from college my mom expects me to give her an allowance each week to maintain herself. She is 43 and not disabled.?
is it right for me to give her money every weeks as if I owe her money for maintaining me for all those years?
- wind_updollLv 73 weeks ago
If you’re residing with her, yes, it’s reasonable to expect you to contribute to the expenses of the household. Reimbursing a parent for costs incurred in rearing children is a choice the adult child may make if they’re financially secure. To expect payback isn’t common, expected, or even acceptable. Shame.
- MikeLv 73 weeks ago
Do you live in her house and eat the meals she prepares and let her do your laundry?
- LaurieLv 74 weeks ago
Unless they are UNABLE, it is everyone’s responsibility to support themselves. This includes students in college.
If your mother is generous enough to help you financially, or with housing, or with food, or with laundry, or with transportation, that is great... but she is not obliged to do so.
Likewise, it is not your responsibility to give her money after you graduate. (Did she do this for her parents after she graduated from college?)
You may CHOOSE to so so, but unless you made an agreement to do so in exchange for her help and support while you were in college, you need not feel obliged to do so.
This is what I would do:
“Mom, I am confused. I thought you were helping/feeding/housing me while I was in college without strings attached. Now you tll me you expect me to pay you back in the form of an allowance... and I’m not at all sure I will be able to do that... so I am moving out next week.” Then, MOVE OUT and support yourself.
If you’re not willing to do that, you need to renegotiate.
“Mom, I will give you money when I can, but I cannot commit to a regular amount. I don’t even know if I will find a job, let alone how much money I will make.”
“Mom, as long as I live here I will pay $xx every month i. Rent, starting (next month/when I graduate/six months after I graduate, Until I move out on my own “
“Mom, I have no intention of giving you money after I graduate. Does that mean you want me to move out now?”
Whatever... but clear the air NOW so you both know what to expect.
- ibu guruLv 74 weeks ago
Do you owe her money, a stipulated loan for college or living expenses? Has she lost her job & in dire straits financially? IF she needs assistance in the future, it's a kindness to take care of her since she took such good care of you for so many years (assuming she did take good care of you).
Otherwise, it is ridiculous to expect a new grad to support a parent. Ignore her demands and proceed with your own life.
Otherwise, you have a lot of obligations immediately upon graduation. As soon as you find a job, move out, pay your bills (including student loans, your health insurance, etc.). Start your own retirement funds (401k, if you're so lucky, IRA, etc.) You'll be lucky to be able to provide for all your own needs to start out as starting wage/salary often are rather poor. IF you continue living with parents after graduation, getting a job, do pay room & board.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- DON WLv 74 weeks ago
That is solely up to you.
The custom, at least in the US, is that once you are out of college and on your own, you no longer give money to a parent, unless (a) they loaned you tuition money, (b) the parent is unable to earn money themselves, or (c) you are continuing to live in the parents house.
But if you're comfortable helping to support her, you can do so. Just make sure you can meet your own expenses too.