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Do you agree with sending a child to there room when they throw a tantrum?

To be honest I've heard of this being done before. For example there would be an occasion where a child would get mad and throw a tantrum at home and the parent would send them to their room and say " When you stop throwing your fit, you can come back and join us". As for the question, well unless they're destroying things or trying to or causing danger to themselves or other people then yes I agree with doing this until they calm down. So do you agree with using this method?

15 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    No. I send my child to her room and she plays with toys. 

    I make them sit in a chair until they are calm and can tell me what they did wrong and if they are ready to say sorry. 

    • Charlie2 months agoReport

      Well in that case I can see why it wouldn't work for some children. When I was a kid my dad would sometimes send me to my bedroom if I threw a fit and well I wasn't really in a playing mood at all when I had tantrums and simply started throwing my stuffed toys instead.

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  • 2 months ago

    Our punishment was The Bottom Step of the stairs in our house.  It was like being in the pillory in the town square with everyone witnessing the purification of your soul.  Like an early version of Time Out but we were allowed to shame the prisoner with, "Ha Ha! You're on the bottom step, what did you do?"

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  • 2 months ago

    No, this teaches the child that they cannot come to you when they are struggling with something. It's better to talk about it together. 

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  • 2 months ago

    I think it depends on the childs' personality-

    If they have an outburst (ie screaming at their parent for instance), and there's no electronics than I think its a wise move to send the child upstairs, this should be for no longer than 10 minutes.

    If they are going around destroying things/physically attacking others, than I think its a poor choice to put them upstairs alone! They could end up smashing a window causing them to cut their hand/fall out of it, they could physically damage things (ie a door, toys etc).

    I have two nephews who frequently have outbursts, albeit in different ways, and who have very different personalities. Nephew #1 is mild-natured but he will get fussy and throw tantrums by using insults espically, however, he's not violent! Nephew #2 goes "0-60" in seconds and he will physically lash out at others, this ranges from shoves, to full on "right hooks. I'm not their parent, but my BIL's first "go to " method is to physically carry them up to their room and close the door, he leaves them there until they are ready to come down on their own. This tactic works for them, I have never heard of them destroying property or injuring themselves up their, actually what they sometimes do tend to do is tire themselves out, they will actually fall alseep in their beds before coming down. BTW, they're 4 going on 5 later this year.

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  • sian
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    No, all of their toys are in their room. It's just encouraging them to be loners

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I don't disagree with that but I never used it.

    My daughters had far too many fun things in their rooms for that to be any kind of "punishment" or even any kind of "cooling down" space.

    Also, consider this - sometimes children just don't want to be around for certain situations.  Maybe you are having a family party and you want your child to participate and play with cousins - but your child doesn't want to do it.  Your child knows that your method for dealing with their mild tantrums is to send them to their room.  So - your child will just have a tantrum - and be sent to their room - which is exactly what they wanted anyway.

    So - I guess I am just trying to tell you that in some cases, this method might not work out since the child knows that they can be dismissed from a group activity to go do what they want to do in their room just by having a tantrum.  

    Personally - I witnessed my brother use a very interesting method for tantrums on my four year old nephew.  My nephew had been throwing tantrums since the age of two.  Nothing had stopped them.  Time out didn't work - sitting in corners didn't work - putting him down for a nap didn't help - trying to talk or reason with him didn't help - every method for stopping tantrums didn't change much.  Even if the tantrum stopped for that event - the next day - he would have more random tantrums over the simplest things.  My nephew started a tantrum one day and my brother just stood there and watched him.  He basically did nothing at all.  He ignored all the screaming and crying and demands for what my nephew wanted.  When my nephew finally stopped crying, my brother asked him - "did you get want you want" - and my nephew said "no".  Then my brother told him - you will never get what you want when you behave that way.  This was the point when talking and reasoning with my nephew worked out the best.  All the other things hadn't helped - but letting him have is full tantrum with nothing at all happening because of the tantrum - and then talking about it afterward was what finally fixed his tantrum issues.  From that point on, he had fewer and fewer tantrums and they never lasted that long.  When I had my daughters - I did something similar.  I always just ignored their tantrums.  They weren't hurting me or anyone else or anything - so I would always let them just cry it out wherever they were at.  When they were done, I would usually ask them if they felt better.  As they got older, after they were done, I would ask them if that helped them get what they wanted.  (of course, it hadn't).  I really never had that many tantrums from my daughters because they learned very early that a tantrum got no reaction from me at all - nothing negative - nothing positive - just nothing at all.

    • Charlie2 months agoReport

      Oh well I definitely see your point because yeah it's not even a punishment or much of a cool down area if they have so many fun things to do and especially if they're throwing a tantrum to get what they want which in that case the solution is often time out but I like what your brother did too.

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  • blank
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Excellent way to START the "good behavior" conversation.   Mis-behaving will not be tollerated and there are consequences.   Also demonstrates that you are in control and cannot be shamed or goaded into giving into emotional blackmail.

    BUT - be sure to set an age / child specific appropriate time to "spring" the child from the room.   Before they can go, have a calm chat about why it was wrong to act that way and suggest ways to learn patience (counting, putting on imaginary "patience hat", etc).

    Above all - end with an "I love you", hug and "I know you will do better next time."

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    It worked with my kids. Removing yourself from a situation is often the best way to cool down. Many adults do this by walking away, so why not teach a child to do the same.

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  • helene
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    At a very minimum.

    What will you do if they refuse to go to their room?

    • Charlie2 months agoReport

      Take them there myself.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I don't see a problem with that. When the child finds out they do not get the wanted attention they are trying for, they will calm down. 

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