Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 4 weeks ago

All mommies read ALL and please answer...?

I've always wanted 4 kids. I'm pregnant with my first and I have always told myself I would get pregnant as soon as the baby is 2 months old, so when they're 12 months, I'll have a 2 month old already (that way they can be close in age and I can have fun with two little guys/gals and blablabla) I KNOW once I have this baby, I'll want to reconsider but if i do get pregnant again really close together (I'm 20 so my body is most likely going to be able to bounce back better than if I were in my 40s, and YES I AM pregnant. So nobody post anything like "Dont do it! wait!) , by the time i give birth I'll be out of the newborn stage and itll make things atleast a LITTLE easier, right? What I'm asking is... did any of you guys have babys really close together In age (meaning do you have children that people ask are twins?) And how much more difficult was it/What are some tips? PLEASE no mean answers, I'm not stupid, I've raised my siblings since they were newborns while my drug addict and alcoholic parents left us in grocery store and sh*t like that. So please just answer my question. If you arent a mom/ mom to two kids really close in age but feel you have some tips, please share. For those who dont or want to use my question to post random comments for points, you will be reported. Thanks, Elle.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Raising two children in diapers at the same time is not only very expensive, it's exhausting. There are more disadvantages of having children close in age then there are in advantages of waiting 2 years or so between children. The only Advantage I see in having 2 children very close in age, is if they are the same sex, you have a lot of hand-me-downs and will save an enormous amount of money in shoes.

    If you're the type of parent who wants to send their child to college, having two children very close in age is really going to have a huge financial impact on the college funding.

    I loved being a parent to my baby slash toddler because I had the ability to spend quality time with him. Raising two small children at the same time is very very hectic and it puts a huge strain on your marriage and finances, forget about having the ever-living energy Zapped right out of you.

    • LizB
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      ^If she's an involved parent, she IS a true mother. Mothers don't need to sacrifice everything of themselves to raise their kids well, and in fact, they shouldn't. Being a mother-martyr doesn't help kids at all. It just gives them an exhausted mother who has nothing in her life besides her children.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    There have been mothers who reared six children at once, had plenty of money, and plenty of help.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    First of all congratulations on your pregnancy!  It's so exciting.  I have a 4 year old and twins who are 2.  I am 33 years old, and my body now is better than it was in my 20s.  This is simply due to the fact that now I am a stay at home mom and am constantly chasing around little ones.  I commend you on wanting children and wanting to be a mom, there's no greater job.  However, for your health sake you need to wait about a year before trying to get pregnant again.  Are you planning on breastfeeding?  Your body will be working in overtime to try to feed your first little one and creating another life at the same time.  It's do-able, however it's a lot of trauma on you.  You will be caring for a brand new little one, and it's a lot more work than I ever anticipated.  The late nights, the constant feedings, diapers, etc.  Give yourself a little break in between babies to enjoy your first before you go onto the next. The age gap of 18 months to 2 years is a good one.  I think about when mine are older.  They will attend high school at the same time.  That's when I think about things like oh my god, that's 3 dresses for the homecoming dance.  Or three sets of soccer cleats at once.  So a little space isn't a bad thing and lets you have time with each child individually as well as together if that makes sense.  I had a 2 year old when I delivered twins.  My oldest still needed my constant attention and cuddles and I had the newborn stage to get through again.  So I was living in a near zombie like state.  Now having two at toddler age and the 4 year old it's constant chaos.  The little baby stage is a walk in the park compared to the toddler stage.  So, I would say it gets easier in some aspects but it is still a lot for you, and if Mama isn't healthy that's never a good thing for anyone.  Best of luck to you :)

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  • GB
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    I  am 14 months older than my brother. We have never been mistaken for twins, and we were fairly close as children. It feels as if he has always been in my life.  It  helped that  our grandparents lived with us, so neither of us were short of attention. 

    If you  are considering going back to work, after having baby 2, then  you need to deduct childcare for 2 children from your wages.  If  the money left, only covers expenses for working (fares, clothing expenses, etc) then it might be worth being a SAHM, until child one starts school.

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  • sarah
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago

    Not me personally (I doubt I'll ever have a second kid, and if I do, it'll be a few more years), but I had a cousin who got pregnant with her second kid about four months after having her first (she had to use fertility drugs to have the first one and was told she would for the second one, too, so it was definitely not planned). They seem to have done just fine. They did wait a little longer before having the third one, but I don't think that was a choice -- things just didn't happen as fast that time.

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  • MissA
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Having your children that close together increases the odds of the second one being premature, having low birthweight, being ill, and/or having lifelong complications. You generally want to have births spaced at least 18 months apart in order to ensure the best outcomes.

    Most women do not become fertile again that quickly after giving birth. A very large fraction of women should not even be having sex that quickly after giving birth.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    "by the time i give birth I'll be out of the newborn stage and itll make things atleast a LITTLE easier, right?"

    I'm a mom. Your first child deserves to be your baby for longer than a year. And no it doesn't get easier. Trust me. Your family will suffer for that decision.

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  • edward
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    I’m not a mom and my son is already 1 and a few months and my wife is no longer pregnant. The average age gap for kids is 2.5 years between them because two babies is hard work. When my son was 3 weeks old my only thought was “oh dear god, it’s only been three weeks?!” But people used to think me and my sister were twins (when we were in high school). I used to teach swimming lessons and i know it’s only half an hour every week but the parents who have 2 kids under the age of 2 are always the first ones to get out of the water and always the ones that i need to help the most in the parent and baby classes. Why? The oldest can’t swim by themselves and the other three need to be held by mom and dad so they don’t fall into the pool. Just from a swimming standpoint it’s not safe

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Go for it.........................

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  • mokrie
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    The female body needs one to two years to heal properly after childbirth. To rush a second pregnancy is endangering your health and maybe cutting your life shorter. Your choice. Your kids can always get a new mom....

    • GB
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      There are 14 months between  me and my brother. Our mom is 86.

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