Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Is this normal in a relationship... ?

I am a female 24 yrs old .i have a relationship with a guy who is 28 yrs old for two months and a half now . Most of the time ... I stay at his place ... i usually stayed 5 days in one week and two days i go to my parents place .

He wants me to not do laundry on his place . So my dirty clothes i have to go back to myParents place and do laundry there .I cant seem to be open around his place and cook my own food. I have to ask him . “I want to cook spaghetti”.  “I want to eat pizza” and he makes the pizza and put it in the oven .He is laid off so no job at the moment . I do not pay for rent because we don't officially live together. Most of my belongings are at my parents place.I paid for our groceries. And when eating out i pay but i give him my card and he knows my pin. Now... is this normal in a relationship for female to keep buying groceries and paying when eating out....i did have conversation with him over this but he said he is taking care of the  rent but i dont think i have to pitch in for the rent because we dont even live together officially. I cannot even do laundry at his place. He wants me to bring it back to my parents place and i do laundry there. Is this okay and should i just let it go and go with the flow? Or maybe its not okay and i should just leave him ? 

Update:

He paid his bills because he gets an EI ; if you got laid off in Canada the govt will help you. He is laid off since August 2019 till now to this day he never had any job. He told me that he wants an exclusive relationship but he is not ready to be a provider yet. 

Update 2:

He is loyal so far and is nice ... i really want him to give him a chance but  im

Doubting myself if the relationship is worth to prolong for because now i have to pay for his haircuts and im okay with that because it doesnt cost much ... only $15 .

 there is $10 but he dsnt wnt to go there because  It is done in the house and he is scared the guy will mess up his hair ... 

I ask my friend about this situation and she told me that it is okay because he is laid off and no job at the moment. 

Update 3:

He doesnt have any friends which is fine because  i dont hangs out with my friend  either and i think thats why he wants to see me often because he dont have friend... he used to have a one bestfriend  for over 7 yrs but his bestfriend died at age 25 ... too young 

Update 4:

He does want want me to use the stove because he said that i make a mess and i told him that u will clean up after i dont cooking but he wants me to clean while cooking ... he seems to have an ocd but not very severe

Update 5:

He does not want me to use the stove because i make a mess and i told him that i will clean up after im done cooking but he wants to me clean while cooking at the same time ... i ask for the laundry and he told me as a joke that my clothes smells like hobo and he doesnt want to smell like hobo ... i know its a joke because the tone of his voice i can tell.. and he joke lots too..

Update 6:

I ask him if he would pitch in if i buy a place like apartment or condo and he moves in with me ; he told me that he will do 50/50 . 

But the law in canada is different... if your common in law even without the documentation and live for 6 months  thats automathic common law and if couple got separated then he is entitled to the share of my property even though its my name on the lease

Unless he is a renter then it is different story

Update 7:

His rent cost $1500 its freggin expensive for sure and thats the main reason why i pitch in for other stuff for him ... i also ask him if he wants to downgrade house but he does not want too 

29 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    You are not in a normal relationship at all. From what you've described, he seems to be a very dominating individual who wants things to be done his way. For you to be paying for all of the meals when you eat out and the food for the home as well and not being able to do your laundry is not fair to you in anyway nor is your being required to pay for his haircuts. In addition he informs you that your clothing smells like that of a hobo? I hope you realize that you're being used and decide to discontinue the relationship with him. You need to find a man who can be a little more normal with you. Best of luck

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    you need to leave him this is not normal . reminds me of my ex, leave now before its too late

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Hes being selfish, you should just leave, im not that way

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  • 1 month ago

    I would leave him. He's using you. He's being so rude on top of that trying to make you live by his rules and make you ask for permission to make yourself food it's not like you're asking him to cook it for you and he won't let you do your laundry at his house even though you're usually there it would make sense for you to do it there instead of using gas to go back and forth. He's a mooch and i get the sense that he wants you to pitch in for rent and you shouldn't have to. What he's doing isn't okay and you deserve better. I'm sorry but he's a mooch and you need to leave him. No one needs a user. And no this isn't normal in a relationship. EDIT: I get that you love him but making excuses for him doesn't justify what he's doing to you. If you know you deserve better move on if you don't then stay.

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  • Jess
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    So you're pretty much providing him with groceries and taking him out but don't even live there and cant do laundry. He has no job so how is his *** paying for an apartment? If his parents are paying tell him to pay for his groceries as well and get the hell away from this *******

    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      Please come in out of the rain, asker, so you don't look so dumb and so you save your own life.

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    He appears rather self obsessed.

    You would be wise to think things over?

    Is all he wants a sex provider?

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  • 1 month ago

    If it's not a hell yes it's a no. The fact that you have to ask this is your answer.  I've been in a relationship with my bf for 5 years. I also live with my parents, I've stayed at his place for at least a month sometimes, I do laundry as I please he's NEVER asked for rent money and buys the food I like with his own money. I do pay for things sometimes and did so as well at the beginning of our relationship when we went out but NOT ALL THE TIME. I've never paid for rent even when he didn't have a job for a little bit, bc he understands that that's his problem. But at the beginning of our relationship didn't stay at his place for more than one night until like 6 months into the relationship but I think depending on the couple it can work. I  don't think this is your particular case. I say pull back and only stay 1 night, don't buy him anything and see how he reacts if it's bad there's your answer. If you don't want to go through the hassle which is probably not worth your time just leave him, he sounds like a good for nothing

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  • 1 month ago

    WTF? Why the hell are you paying for this guy's food? are you insane? I don't see a problem with pitching in sometimes, but this is out of bounds. It's not your problem if he's in-between jobs, but if he is, and he's that broke, he has no business seeing a girl

    However, he managed to find one stupid enough to buy him food so he doesn't starve to death. That and sex is probably all you're good for in his view.

    Stop being a stupid girl

    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      I'm thinking that the problem really isn't him...its that you (asker), are dumb enough to go along with him !

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  • 1 month ago

    This whole situation is not normal. You move in with someone after 6 months or longer. You basically moved in after a month or 2 of dating him or is it just recently? Either case you need to pull back, imagine a cake recipe. There is 10 steps to it, and what your doing is doing step 123,7 and 8. That is why you feel not comfortable. Because the earned feeling of being in a relationship and growing hasn't happened. Best thing for you to do is move out back with your parents and take things slow only go on dates. Because like the friendzone guys get in , your doing all these things for your bf and expecting something from him that is never going to come. Your expecting your bf to give you the feeling things are going somewhere, and he is just spinning his wheels and using you to get food and have sexxx without any commitment needed when you move in together.

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  • 1 month ago

    He probably just doesn't want your vagina cheese contaminating his clothes.

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