Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 weeks ago

My fiance is a virgin but I had multiple sex partners before which he does'nt know till now, then how should I bring that fact about it?

And also how to bring the topic of STD tests as I had multiple sex partners and does'nt want to risk his health nor do I want to fool him saying my health and my past are none of his business? When I will ask that, he will definitly know that I had msny partners before him and do I want to get tested and as he is a virgin?

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  • 3 weeks ago
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    Hi Koushik, this has been a problem for you for the last five years. And I'm unclear whether you're the virgin fiance or the woman in this scenario.

    But assuming you're the woman in this scenario, you should go to your doctor in private and and get tested. You may well be lucky and find that you're still healthy.

    But it looks as though the virgin fiance already knows about you. And this is why he hasn't married you yet. He would rather continue being a virgin than marry you.

    • Koushik3 weeks agoReport

      Many std's dont show up till long time...but it continues to act on the body internally.....its better to not get married rather than living in fear...n rather than spending half the time of life visiting doctor

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  • 3 weeks ago

    This hasn't cropped up even though you are engaged? You must surely know about each others' pasts before getting married. Not all the little details, of course, but nobody gets through their teens and twenties without having made lots of mistakes, hopefully from which we have learned and grown. Have the tests, especially if you have had sex with someone else in the past year - if you have, you need more time before marriage. We fall madly in love, don’t we, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long  - and people in love always behave at their best! Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc.  

      

    • Koushik3 weeks agoReport

      Now what is the option left for her

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Be honest and stop thinking about it.

    You whored around a bit without protection and now you pay the price.

    In this situation you need to be honest with yourself first

    • Koushik3 weeks agoReport

      What options does she have now

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  • 3 weeks ago

    you can risk telling him / losing him

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Honestly, you really should just tell him truth and you should have already done so. As for the testing, just get it done in private and show him the results when you bring up the subject of how many men you have slept with.

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    • Koushik3 weeks agoReport

      Yes she should get tested n accept her fault..in having unprotected sex with multiple men.n not destroy an innocent man's life from her STD's, she should stay alone or marry a similar type man like her who too has many incurable std's..then both can enjoy treating their STD's whole life n share it.

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