Should I (F21) move into a different bedroom from my partner (M22)? ?

My partner and I have been together nearly 4 years, which means our entire adult lives. We’ve lived together for two years, sharing a room for the last one. Lately I’ve been feeling somewhat unhappy and losing the love for him- but I’m also undergoing some mental health treatment for depression that is throwing my emotions all over the place for no reason. 

I’ve been fantasying a lot, not about being single, but about moving into our spare room, and us having our own rooms again- sharing a bed when we want but having our own spaces again. 

I’m kinda scared that we’re growing up too fast as a couple and I’ve never had a chance to really live as an independent adult. 

Would moving into a different room be a good idea? Does anyone have any experience? Or am I delaying the inevitable (break up)? 

Also how should I approach the convo with him?

2 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Wow, I'm in the same boat almost. I'm 23, he's 24, been together for four years, and I'm also just recently getting help for my depression, and am losing the capability to feel the love I once had (for everyone), and I'm fantasizing of something but I'm not sure what. 

    I can't say if you're avoiding the inevitable, but perhaps moving to another room but help clear your heads. It's not horrible idea, and can help stabilize what you're feeling. 

    I'm sorry you're going through stuff, it's incredible how we are so alike. Best of luck!

    • ...Show all comments
    • Courtney4 weeks agoReport

      For approaching the conversation, I would say that you haven't been feeling best mentally (with your depression if he knows), and you would like a room to yourself to work on your thoughts and focus on yourself, like a safe space, while working though yourself. And that's it's NOT about him.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    I think having time apart and space in a relationship is perfectly acceptable. Everyone needs some time on their own or they will feel suffocated. I think that the best way of expressing this to your boyfriend is exactly how you have word it in this question. The most important thing is that you are open and honest with him - that is all anybody can ever ask. I think people get offended when someone hides something and the person they are with finds out in some unintended way.

    As for how you should progress, be sure to keep spending time with each other and communicating. As long as you both do that, your relationship will continue to prosper. I really hope this helps :)

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