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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

My brother is abusive and I want to move out. Advice please?

I'm 28, F, been living with my 55 year old half-brother for 6 yearrs. If I accidentally push his buttons too much, he'll go into a fit of rage. He always apologizes afterward, but he also says it's my fault. He also claims that I'm the person he loves and cares for the most in this world, but that for some reason, I'm also the only person who brings out the rage inside of him. I don't do it on purpose.

He's had times where he's gotten so angry that he's screamed in my face that he wanted to kill me (has happened more than once), has called me names, pushed me down multiple times and one time it was so hard I bruised my tailbone. He also has literally run toward me while screaming & swinging a weapon like a maniac (It wasn't an actual weapon, but it could've easily been used as one. He also DIDN'T actually hit me with the weapon, but I was standing frozen next to the couch in our living room, and instead of hitting me, he repeatedly hit the couch violently while screaming. He calmed down after 10-20 seconds of this). Also in the last year, he's put his hands around my throat twice out of anger. He DIDN'T actually squeeze it, I could still breathe & he let go after I screamed.

He IS nice to me most of the time and his anger episodes don't happen often, but when they do, I become depressed & lose my motivation to do anything.

Edited to add more info in the details below...

Update:

I want to move back in with my parents (just until I get a job & can support myself).

I don't have a drivers license, so I can't drive myself. I also can't take the bus because I have a cat & dog. I won't leave them behind. I talked to my family about driving up to get me (I didn't tell them about my brothers anger, tho) and they said they can't afford the gas (altogether, it'd be a 12 hr drive).

Should I ask my brother to drive me home? How should I start the convo?

Thanks

16 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Don't ask your brother, this might set him off if he thinks you are leaving him. How many miles do you live from your parents? What kind of dog do you have?

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  • Carmen
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    If you see the danger signs already with his temper you probably shouldn’t ask him much just pray for strength to endure this difficult time until something changes pray for peace of mine and a calm heart pray your brother changes his attitude and be more peaceable and you get the means you need to move out soon. 

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i would just move out even if you have to go stay in a shelter

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  • 2 months ago

    You are freaking 28, act like one, get a licence, get a job and move out.  

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Update:

    You are wrong about me. I helped a lot of people, and yes, I can prove it. I kept records of how I helped some people, and yes, I plan on using it, so I hope to benefit from it. If you want you can continue being an ignorant b**ch.

    I believe I described you pretty good. I already know what some people think of me, and it's nothing like how you described me.

    Update:

    As far as I know you have zero accomplishments. You are working on your GED while I have made much more progress in life than you. I finished high school, and college. You on the other hand didn't finish high school.

    I am also self taught, so I further developed my education on my own. I made other accomplishments too, so I think you are behind!!!

    I am not old enough to be your parent, but if I was then I would tell you to your face to go away.

    "(just until I get a job & can support myself)."

    There are people who truly want to work, and will do whatever it takes to get work. All I see here is you enjoy making people angry. If I am wrong then you would said at least 1 good accomplishment that you made in your life. What if an employer asks you what can give me?

    If all you have is that disgusting attitude of yours then I don't know why anyone would want to give you a job.

    Lastly regarding me I have several good accomplishments.

    Source(s): h
    • a2 months agoReport

      WTH?

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  • 2 months ago

    "Also in the last year, he's put his hands around my throat twice out of anger." this is a hugeeeee red flag. Even if "he didn't actually squeeze it". Stop waiting for things to get worse and find another place to live, like yesterday.

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  • 2 months ago

    You know your brother is dangerous or you would not have written what you've written. At times you feel like your life is in danger. I think you tell your parents that you're in danger and ask them to pick you up. If they really can't afford it, you ask your brother to drive you, but only tell him you're visiting them for a couple weeks. You might need to leave some belongings behind for him to believe you. Otherwise, call a domestic abuse hotline for advice, but do it out of the house and make sure he doesn't check your phone.

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  • 2 months ago

    Tell your parents what you told us & they will help you move.

    Do not tell your brother why you are leaving. Tell him A true reason, but not that one. 

    After you are safely at your parents house, then tell him.

  • 2 months ago

    i would just move out or tell the police whats going on

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  • 2 months ago

    I'd get the he11 out of there.

    • Einsteinetta
      Lv 6
      2 months agoReport

      Tell tour folks what you told us.

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