Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

Is he actually interested in me or just the sex. He claims he doesn’t want to kiss me during sex because he claims he might catch something?

Save the judgement. I just need advice. Yes I’ve been cheating on my husband for the past couple of months with this man who I felt instant sparks with.the connection between is insane. And we have WAY more in common than my husband and I. I knew me and my husband have been incompatible for a while now but talking to this other man just showed me how much more incompatible we are. And we didn’t start off by having sex. We started off by having amazing conversation and great vibes. We woke up on the phone and went to sleep on the phone. I mean we were up till 3 am -4am talking about everything under the sun and getting to know each other. I told him about my anxiety my fears everything and how eventually I wanna have kids but I don’t wanna repeat history because my mom was abusive. He reassured me that I was going to be a great mom in the future. Anyways we had sex twice and the sex was ok but he didn’t really want to kiss me. He said he doesn’t want to catch anything and bring it back to his daughter his daughter is like 3 years old. He said he kissed his daughter on the cheek. He said I might not have anything but my husband might because my husband sleeps around a lot. Yeah my husband has cheated on me so many times even though he denies it I know this. I’ve only had two partners my entire life. And I’m 33. He also said that kissing brings a lot of emotion into sex and he said that he doesn’t want to get all emotionally tied up and then end up getting hurt

Update:

He was like “cause that’ll make me real upset if I get too emotionally attached only for you to end up never leaving him”

Update 2:

But I thought he was already emotionally attached because he said he told his mother about me? 

Update 3:

It’s just weird and awkward to have sex without kissing I’ve never had sex like that and it’s strange to me 

Update 4:

I said I think we should stop having sex if it means nothing to him except getting off. I was thinking he would be more romantic” and he was like “ what’s the point of being romantic right now if you’re still with him”

Update 5:

He was like “ I am romantic I can bring you flowers and everything but what’s the point if you’re gonna be with him for a while”.

Update 6:

Then he said he didn’t get to shoW off what he wanted to do for me for Valentine’s Day.” I’m so confused 

Update 7:

I don’t get it though how is he only interested in sex when he was texting me 24/7??? Like I get men who only text you once a week being only into sex but I seriously felt a bond with him and he said he felt the same bond 

8 Answers

Relevance
  • 3 weeks ago

    Simple, he's using you for sex.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 3 weeks ago

    He? He has sex but won't kiss "because he might catch something"? Surely having sex is more of a risk than just kissing would be? Makes me think of that line out of "Lady in Red" when the two Ladies of the Night were talking about sex with the Johns, which goes something like this - "Don't ever kiss on the mouth. Kissing on the mouth is far more intimate than just sex."

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 3 weeks ago

    Hi

    Google evolution of kissing.  Learn about what it is.

    Non-sexually it is trust, respect, comfort and many things.

    Kissing like touch is communication.  Many people feel it stronger than words or action.

    Consider how weird or wrong it feels to you during sex to not kiss him.

    He is an emotional, expressive & passionate guy.  He got you, right?  Well kissing means a lot to him too, like most people but espcially the more emotional.

    Trust, comfort, respect, love, passion and all of the kinky sexual aspects.  You dont do any of those for him so of course he tries not to kiss.

    It's easier to view sex as more robotic or emotionally detached if you demand the woman NOT kiss you.

    Your husband is a loser.  This guy seems no better.  You are vulnerable.  Not weak or stupid, the opposite.  You were willing to be honest, not ashamed and throw yourself out there.  Some guy and your husband lied to and exploited you for this. You feel it right?

    People have been kissing for 10k yrs.  We know alot about it.  What you depends on what's been going on.  Listenforyou@protonmail.com 

    The fact he does txt 24/7 or does not is irrelevant.  I trollin?

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 3 weeks ago

    Don't you think that having sex with someone is more intense than just kissing them. This guy is giving you such a  load of BS I can't see why you can't see it. If he was only texting you once a week would you be having sex with him? I would hope not. Get rid of him. I'll bet the sex with him is lousy too.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    If kissing is too intimate for him he's just in it for the sex. Also unless he's an idiot he should know that he's not going to catch anything from kissing that he wouldn't likewise catch just from being close enough to you to penetrate you.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Rick
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    It sounds like he's only interested in you for the sex and he's not interested in any emotional attachment.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 3 weeks ago

    It is your prerogative to do ask you like with your body.  Your husband doesn't own you.  Now, you should set him up with a few side girlfriends as well so its all equal.  I"m sure he's tired of your boring sex routine anyhow.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I'd say you are just a convenient place to come in.  Sorry but "He claims he doesn’t want to kiss me during sex because he claims he might catch something" is total BS.

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.