Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I found out he’s been having an affair for 2 1/2 years. ?

I am beyond devastated. We have had a perfect relationship. This is a major shock to not only me but his closest friends who have been in his life 30 years. He sold his house and moved into mine a year ago. I’ve made him leave. He’s currently in a hotel til he finds a place. He is my best friend. He has treated me like a queen. He is THE BEST person I have ever known. I have never caught him in a lie and I am very intuitive! I absolutely can’t comprehend this level of deception. He seems genuinely remorseful and I don’t doubt he loves me. But how can I ever get over this? Prior to him I was in a long term, awful, toxic, mentally abusive relationship. But was never betrayed this way. I KNEW my ex was a horrible person. After that I was determined to stay single and I was content with my life and had been single 1.5 years. He came into my life and I resisted him for 7 months before I gave in and started JUST a friendship and agreed to hang out with him. Within 2 months I was smitten and like I already said we have had an amazing, near perfect relationship. He has told me and His friends tell me I completely changed his life for the better. I’m everything he’d always wanted. His affair was with a married woman he works with. He resigned his job (I believe to protect her from an internal investigation) and ended things with her. I don’t know what to do! I can’t imagine my life without him! 

6 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    If it is that perfect find out what she had you did not.  Or what she did for him or made him feel you would/could not.

    We are not going to rationalize or justify cheating.  But its rarely random or unplanned.  Men cheat for very specific reasons as do women....  Learn about them

    Absolutely confront the b*tch.  She knew he was married/dating.  Do not allow her to position herself by ignoring her, even if you shoot or never take him back, confront the *****.  It should be obvious... It shows you wont allow yourself to be disrespected.  It shows him a tremendous amount too, you do "fight".  You doing nothing makes you appear weaker to people you know.

    Honestly dont take him back.

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  • Don't take him back. The way it sounds is he is very charismatic and charming. He clearly has managed to come across as genuine and honest to you with no red flags which means he is probably a manipulative psychopath. These are the types you can't trust.

    That being said....I don't understand how you could not notice this. My boyfriend is honest and all that but the biggest thing is we literally do everything together and if we're apart WE LIVE IN A DIGITIAL AGE I know where he is via snap maps, phone location, insta stories, facebook, google activity, etc. if his phone is dead or he's drunk his friends are snapping me goofy pictures of him without me even checking in or texting like I don't understand how a guy can cheat without you knowing unless he did it while you're at work and he just hooked up with her there??? But for two years they definitely met outside of work. Idk, especially living with your boyfriend (if you were) it would be impossible.

    • It all happened while I was at work. If I wasn’t at work we did EVERYTHING together. He didn’t even go out with friends without me. 

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  • g
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    So your relationship was a lie but he's the best person ever. Um no. Your intuition is broken if you went that long and still thought it was perfect. Curious how you found out, but fact is, he lied. Intentionally. For most of your relationship. Keep reminding yourself of THAT instead of how perfect you thought it was.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    He was cheating on you for the two and half years of your three year relationship and you still think he was treating you like a queen. He wasn't. He was betraying you for practically all of the time you've been with him. He was over you two and a half years ago and your relationship was - to him - a sham. You know this, so moving on is the only thing to do. You thought everything was great, while he was living a lie. That's the reality. Everything else, as far as your concerned, was imaginary. You'll now have to be real, which really is the only to do.

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  • 1 month ago

    are u trolling? because it sounds like a plot of a very bad low budget tv movie. and if u re not trolling what is the purpose of your post? are u asking yahoo answers' permission to take him back? or questioning whether u were right to kick him out? this is your life - nobody cares. and if u re asking why did he do that? he wanted more entertainment. obviously being in relationship with u wasn't thrilling enough. why else anyone would start an affair

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  • 1 month ago

    2 and half years behind your back and you still think you are intuitive? Seriously get real, get out of this fantasy land and start looking at the world like it really is. The more of a realist you are the more you will have a better reltionships with people who are transparent. Forget fixing it with him, fix your self esteem because that is what will enable you to walk away from someone that nowhere near deserves you. 

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