Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Old mentor and romantic feelings?

We met more than two years ago through school, we spent time at school and work. It took us a long time to really get to know each other, we got a long great. We proved our loyalty to each other by defending and praising each other behind each others backs. We got so close, after graduation she asked me to have her number and told me to call her by her name, she said we are friends now. She stood by my side during my first job. She asked me to hang out and I panicked and did not do it, because I started to have feelings for her, romantic feelings. I did not want to meet her and act weird or tell her and turn her off. She felt rejected and started to ignore me but when I made an effort to stop by and see her she hugged me for a long time, she knew that things in my life fell apart, she tried to help but she could not. We stopped talking for more than 8 months now. I left the job and we stopped talking. I feel like that she might be thinking that I stopped talking to her because I do not need her anymore or something. She has fear of abandonment, she told me many times how she blame herself for getting divorced. She is older than me with bf. She also has deep fear of rejection and I think in her eyes I rejected her many times. She does not know my real feelings. I have deep fear of getting close to someone, I push her away cause she cares about me. Also I fear commitment. How to talk to her again and make things better? I feel bad

1 Answer

  • Expat
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Just tell her you have feelings and stop torturing yourself. It’s not so difficult. Could you lose her? Sure! But you don’t have her the way you want anyway, so on the one hand you don’t have her and she doesn’t know how you feel and you’re miserable, and the other - she’d know how you feel and possibly tell you she feels the same. Or she says she doesn’t feel the same but at least you know. Come on! It’s not complicated! You’re just scared. Stop allowing fear to prevent the possibility of happiness.

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