Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

How do I get over a miscarriage?

Hey I was 15 when I had a miscarriage in September last year( I was on birth control so wasn’t planned) I was probably around 3/4 months. In around November it hit me what had happened and ever since then I’ve cried every single day feeling so tired and sick and everytime  I think about it I just feel ill to my stomach like I don’t want to be here anymore. I can’t deal with it. My mum doesn’t know so the only form of counselling I can get is online 😭 I feel so alone? How do I get over it and try to refocus my mind elsewhere. How do I familiarise myself with what happened without getting panicky. Please help.

Thank you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Hi. I'm sorry for your loss. If you're in the UK you are an adult in the eyes of the NHS from the age of 16 so if you're now 16 please see your GP to get a referral for counselling through CAMHS. Your parents would only know that you've seen a medical or mental health professional if you tell them yourself.

    ''Your GP can provide you with support and advice. The following organisations can also help:

    The Miscarriage Association is a charity that offers support to people who have lost a baby. They have a helpline (01924 200 799, Monday to Friday, 9am to 4pm) and an email address (info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk), and can put you in touch with a support volunteer.

    Cruse Bereavement Care helps people understand their grief and cope with their loss. They have a helpline (0808 808 1677, Monday to Friday, 9:30am to 5pm) and a network of local branches where you can find support.'' https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage/afterwar...

    If you're still 15 you can still legally see your GP and CAMHS without your parents knowing you simply need to say at the beginning of each appointment that you don't want them to know. Your mum will likely be very supportive if you tell her about the miscarriage and a counsellor can help you work through the best way to tell her.

    I understand your pain as I've lost 2 babies myself.

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  • 1 month ago

    I'm so sorry for what happened you must be going through a lot. But maybe try going out more and hanging out with friends, it can distract you from what happened, or maybe therapy, meeting new people, meditation. I'm so sorry if this didn't work hopefully you feel better and take care!! 💕

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  • 1 month ago

    I read your post with a lot of interest.

    I wonder if you received medical obstetric care after this miscarriage?

    I wonder if your regular periods have resumed?

    I'm also wondering if you may be suffering from a hormonal imbalance due to pregnancy and recovery?

    I'm wondering if you are in school and how well you are doing?

    If you are not in school, why not?

    I'm also wondering if the pregnancy shocked you into understanding what an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy would mean to a child in your position.  You are thinking about the overwhelming responsibility of motherhood and the fact that your freedom of adolescence would be over.

    If you are still in school, I think you would benefit from talking to a school counselor about this.  You also need to do more with your high school opportunities and join clubs that might be interesting to you or go out for sports that you may enjoy.  Don't waste this important time in your life.

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