Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

Fiancés sister asking for money?

I’m 26, she’s 21. 

She hasn’t been cool around me and that’s since the jump. I’ve been nothing but nice and giving to her. Almost to the point I feel stupid and look dumb for what I get in return. Just trying to be the bigger person for myself and fiancé. 

What really bothers me is we will go to his moms for dinner, or they’ll come to us and she’ll only address my fiancé in the room. She’ll thank him on my behalf, call him by his name, show any type of respect to him in the room and I’m just standing there like I don’t exist, I don’t necessarily care it’s just uncomfortable and annoying. It’s obvious she’s trying to make me feel excluded when I’m standing right next to my soon to be husband. 

My fiancé has talked to her since she was 18 when she was really bad. He has tried to help the situation but in the end he just tells me to ignore her. He does get just as upset though. 

She texted me once saying she doesn’t like me because I’m the reason her and her brother don’t have a relationship. Yet, I have always tried to do stuff together and include her with us but it’s the same behavior from her. 

Now she’s asking for money, the mothers sick and she doesn’t want to ask her. (No dad) I know she’s young and wants help from her

 “big brother” but we have joined accounts and that’s “our” money. I know she’s family, but I’m sickened with her behavior. I honestly don’t want to help her. I want to support my fiancé, I just get crapped on. How should I go about this situation?

8 Answers

Relevance
  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You're obviously fools to have combined finances prior to having the legal protections marriage affords... But she shouldn't be asking you for money. Fun fact: She's actually NOT "family" until you and this guy actually make it to the altar. Pretending to be married doesn't make you married.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Step One to getting what you want is knowing what you want and asking for it. If Sissy is saying "Brother, thank ___ for the nice dinner" then you cut in with "Hey, I'm right here; you can thank me directly." And train your fiance to say "Why thank ME? Thank HER?" 

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    i would just stay away from her

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Carson
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    You have a joint account and you're not married? No No No no.

    You have separate accounts and each put qn agreed to amount into a joint account.

    Then he can throw his own money at the little snot.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 4 weeks ago

    That joint account? It has his money in it too, yes? So this decision should not be yours alone to make. BTW, 21 isn't much younger than 26! And it's not so young that relatives need simply hand her money upon request.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 4 weeks ago

    She's not YOUR FAMILY. She's his, she's aBitch and what do you care about her feelings or what she needs or wants? You're taking all this personally, when it's her problem, not yours. If your boyfriend wants to give her some of his money, i guess he can. Why do you feel crapped on? She asked him, not you.

    And if you disagree about giving her money you can always let him know. But if he wants to, he will, if not he won't.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • P
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Your fiancé should be discussing it with you privately and whatever you decide together your fiancé needs to be the one who communicates that to his family as a decision he fully supports.   This is especially important with sensitive issues like this.   If the sister is asking you directly you should decline to talk about it and discuss it with your fiancé privately.   It is especially important if you are not giving her money for it to come from your fiancé.   Regardless if family asked me for money it would largely depend on what it was for and their ability to pay it back.  It's generally better to not get involved with money and family, but true emergencies do come up.  You have to look at the bigger picture if the money would truly solve whatever issue they are having or if it just delay's the inevitable.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Fuhr
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    I almost cared enough to post something.  Almost.  Oh wait...

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.