How do I get over boyfriend cheating?
I recently found out my boyfriend cheated on me. The worst part of it is the woman he had sex with is so much older. My boyfriend and I are 20. This woman is in her 50s. If he cheated on me with someone hotter, I’d get it. But the fact he went for an old woman... Why?! I don’t understand why he’d choose an old woman over me. That makes me feel really bad. I don’t know how to get over it.
- PatriciaLv 74 weeks ago
Well, don't feel bad. Older women have been around the block a few times, are more relaxed and giving and FUN when it comes to sex. Young women are often uptight.
And if your boyfriend cheated he did. He's not the first guy on earth to cheat, and won't be the last. He's twenty years old. He still needs time to explore and put himself out there before he can commit. This is true of most guys his age.
Signed, Woman over 50
- PLv 74 weeks ago
It's not really something you get over. You either dump him or learn to live with it. It creates a toxic relationship since you won't ever be able to trust him, but trust is what's required for a healthy relationship. Most cheaters end up cheating not because of anything to do with their current partner, but because an easy opportunity presented itself and they are too weak to say no.
- Dr. StephanieLv 74 weeks ago
I like Helen's answer, and I very often recommend counseling for individuals and couples, as well. However, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It matters not the age of the woman, the fact is that he was willing to cheat. You didn't say how long you've been together or what the level of commitment is, but this would still be a red flag for you to be concerned about, and I don't know if you can easily regain your original trust in him, if at all.
- HelenLv 74 weeks ago
You think you'd feel better if the woman was young and hot. You probably wouldn't. Cheating is cheating. And it's never about you. A guy will either cheat, or he won't. If he's the type to cheat, it doesn't matter who you are or who the other woman is - he'll never be capable of staying faithful and he'll always want something different to what he's already got. Just look at Beyonce...!
Cheating is one of the hardest things to get over. It can cause lasting trust issues and damage to confidence. The best thing you can do at this point is to seek some counselling to work through it.
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- Andrew SmithLv 74 weeks ago
When my wife and I were young we were both virgins and having a lot of difficulties with attempting sex and failing. I fantasized about an older woman that had "been there and done that" just to learn from. If either of us had been experienced it would have been easier. There are many reasons for "cheating" and if you could discover the facts and then put yourself in his shoes for a while you might discover that you are worrying over nothing.
PS "an old woman" At my age I can't consider 50 is OLD. Everything is relative.
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
Its simple. Older women are better lovers. They know how to use birth control properly, aren't looking for a relationship,, can orgasm easily and frequently, have a lifetime of experience in sexual matters, and for those men with a mommy (oedipal) fetish, this is just a huge turn on. How to get over it? You leave him or accept that he cheats.
- CosminiLv 74 weeks ago
Leave him. Let yourself heal. There is no use asking why why why.