Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 weeks ago

Husband is too controlling during my pregnancy? How can I get him to stop?

Our first baby is 27 mos. I just found out I was pregnant with baby #2 last month. During my first pregnancy, my husband was very concerned about my wellbeing and the baby’s to the point of being too controlling in my opinion. He just is very opinionated on things I should/shouldn’t be eating/doing. I will say he does know his stuff because he works in public health and is a former PT. For him, preparing our babies to be as smart/healthy as possible is a big priority. As soon as I got pregnant, he wanted me on a really clean diet. He agreed to do the diet also and he’s always done the cooking so it wasn’t too bad of an adjustment. But at times it could be stressful. Like I heard it’s ok to have up to 200/mg of caffeine so I felt like 1 coffee was ok. He would constantly nag me about it. It even brought me to tears. He also always made me do exercises even when I said I was tired, he would guilt me into it. For NYE, I had non-alcoholic wine because we weren’t ready for people to know I was pregnant. Mind you we had JUST found out a week before. He pulled me into a hallway and started berating me for drinking so bad I couldn’t even butt in to say that it wasnt real alcohol. But he should have trusted me before assuming. These are a few examples. I’ve told him that the forced exercise/comments about what I eat STRESS me out which isn’t good for the baby either. He always flips it and says, “I’m doing this because I love and care about you both” and I’m overreacting 

Update:

When I talk to him about my feelings, he keeps saying, “It’s not just about you. It’s the baby too.” Which I get where the expression comes from but of course my feelings should matter. Him as the dad telling me, a mother whose already had a baby, what I need to be doing is so frustrating! That he thinks I wouldn’t have my child’s best interests in mind is insulting. 

4 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You and the hubs need to book an appointment with your OB/GYN to discuss this. Chances are the best diet and exercise plan lies somewhere between the opinions you each currently hold. Working in public health and being a former PT doesn't necessarily mean your spouse knows better than your doctor. Let a professional guide you on this.

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  • PAMELA
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    He is acting like your father or carer, he does not trust you to do the right thing, i would ignore his advice and do what you like, and when you have had this baby get onto some birth control!

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  • Blonde
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Hold up a wooden spoon and tell him to back off. You heard his message, now ‘enough’. Lol.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    He may think he is helping you but he is causing you stress which isn't healthy for you or the baby. Sit him down and explain this to him. If he doesn't get it maybe you leave to spend the night at family members home or friends home for 48hrs. Maybe then he will get the message.

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