Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

Fiancés sister asking for money? ?

 I’m 26, she’s 21. 

She hasn’t been cool around me and that’s since the jump. I’ve been nothing but nice and giving to her. Almost to the point I feel stupid and look dumb for what I get in return. Just trying to be the bigger person for myself and fiancé. 

What really bothers me is we will go to his moms for dinner, or they’ll come to us and she’ll only address my fiancé in the room. She’ll thank him on my behalf, call him by his name,  show any type of respect to him in the room and I’m just standing there like I don’t exist, I don’t necessarily care it’s just uncomfortable and annoying. It’s obvious she’s trying to make me feel excluded when I’m standing right next to my soon to be husband. 

My fiancé has talked to her since she was 18 when she was really bad. He has tried to help the situation but in the end he just tells me to ignore her. He does get just as upset though. 

She texted me once saying she doesn’t like me because I’m the reason her and her brother don’t have a relationship. Yet, I have always tried to do stuff together and include her with us but it’s the same behavior from her. 

Now she’s asking for money, the mothers sick and she doesn’t want to ask her. (No dad) I know she’s young and wants help from her

 “big brother” but we have joined accounts and that’s “our” money. I know she’s family, but I’m sickened with her behavior. I honestly don’t want to help her. I want to support my fiancé, I just get crapped on. How should I go about this situation?

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    I remember reading this before and thinking your fiance is the problem.  With these additional details, it's even more true.  By age 21, she should know how to act like an adult, and she doesn't.  Not sure how or why that happened, but your fiance needs to demand better behavior from her.  When I say "demand", I mean tell her to stop doing "X" and if she doesn't stop, he'll stop having contact with her.  It sounds extreme, and hopefully it won't get to that point.  But if she's asking for money and you're worried he'll give it to her from your joint account, this has the potential to blow up your relationship (or marriage).  That may be a separate problem from his sister.

    Also, when you say you want to "support" your fiance what does this mean?  Sure, in general, engaged or married people want to be supportive of things their partner is doing, but you didn't mention anything here that sounds like he needs your support.  In fact, it's the opposite.  You need his.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    just dont give her any

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  • 4 weeks ago

    She needs a kick up the **** doesn't she. What a spoiled and unpleasant brat. She's an immature 21 and you are a level-headed 26. Time she grew up. What does she need the money for anyway. What does her brother think about giving her cash? I think you should tell him that you are sick of her treating you like you've just come off the bottom of her shoe and you DO NOT WANT to give her any of your joint money. If your fiancé wants to give her money from his own account, then that is up to him - but she's a spoiled little madam and I think it's time you stopped doing nice things for her and including her in stuff. By all means be pleasant and polite to her but do as your fiance says - generally ignore her and don't get into lots of conversations with her. Do your own thing. Talk to the rest of the family but leave her to her own devices. You don't have to make a big 'thing' of it (as she seems to be doing) - just phase her out generally. If she asks for money from you you can ask her why would she think you would even consider giving anything to her after the way she's treated you in the past. You and your fiancé need all the money you have and can earn to pay for the wedding and afterwards, not fund some little Princess's whims.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    When you marry your fiance, you also get his family.  If your fiance can't stand up for you, then you should seriously think long and hard before marrying this guy.

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