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Lv 5

I’m meeting his parents for the first time? Advice is appreciated ?

So IM 22, and hes 28. He is my very first boyfriend. We’ve been together 2.5 months, so everything is still new but very solid so far. I met his sister and his future brother in law this past Tuesday during a special game night at a bar, and that went extremely well. I could tell he was very satisfied that it did. Almost like I passed a test, and now I’m worthy of meeting his parents haha. 

adults usually love me; my bosses and friends’ parents have always adored me. I’m a good girl. I pretty much get straight As, and I’m in nursing school, about to graduate(everyone LOVES nurses haha!), and I’m very respectful and well spoken.  But this feels different. Like... I’m meeting the parents of the man I am rapidly falling for. 

His family is having a soup night. Lots of people with be there including neighbors. What do I wear???!! I asked him if I should bring anything, and he said no. Should I honor that or bring something anyway?

I should also mention that he’s white, and I’m black (first generation American. My parents are from Nigeria). I already know I’m going to stand out, and I’m just a little nervous. Please help haha

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  • 4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Stop the nervous laughter - although I do understand your nervousness.  Don't think of being with this man's family as 'passing a test'. What test would that be then? That you are good enough to be with him? Stop beating yourself up. You are as good as the next person whatever colour they are and you are certainly worthy. (Is he worthy enough for you I wonder?)  You are a nice, popular and intelligent girl and he's lucky to have you on his arm.  He obviously cares for you. You've met his sister and her fiancé and it went well. Sounds like they like you too.....and why shouldn't they? Now you get to meet the parents. He's said not to take anything (I'm assuming he means food of some sort which isn't necessary) so don't take food - but I'd be inclined to take something small for his mother - flowers or chocolates (nothing lavish) just a little gift to thank her for her hospitality.  Ask him what you should wear.  Sounds like smart/casual rather than too dressy.  Good luck and don't keep putting yourself down. It's a habit you don't need to get into.  Just be your nice, normal self.

    • :)
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      This honestly melted my heart. Thank you so much! I’m on my way now.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    It is traditional to bring a host gift of some sort whenever you are invited to someone's home for a meal. This is a causal invitation so just be well presented but not dressed up.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    You're falling for him BECAUSE he's white.

    • :)
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      You’re an idiot lol. I won’t feed the troll. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Relax and be yourself.  Your boyfriend should advise you on what to wear based on how his family and friends generally dress.  Let him know you are nervous and want to make a good first impression.

    It is fine to bring a hostess gift -- just don't go over the top.  It is also just fine not to bring anything.

    The key is to engage in conversation with the other people.  Ask them questions and respond to questions asked of you.  Try not to be too clingy to your boyfriend.  Offer to help bring thing to or clear the table.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Just be yourself, that's going to speak for you.  Meeting the parents is always stressful even though today it's not really a test.

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