Married couples: Are you stuck in a rut? How do you get out?

My wife and I have committed to each other that Sunday morning is a good time for us to have fun in bed. It's fun and all, but it feels like we are stuck in a rut. Limited to Sunday mornings. I suggested some fun last night after I saw a couple kissing at a bar. Was feeling horny. Shot down! "Too tired" at 9:30 p.m.? Any advice? We are late 50s, married 25.

6 Answers

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  • R L
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    You both obviously have a great foundation for your marriage, but you both need to get out of your comfort zone...maybe a little role playing..both of you need to write out a fantasy of each of yours...open honest and kinky and make those fantasies come true together. Get naughty with it..have fun many orgasms and have another happy 25 years!

  • 4 weeks ago

    Well, she may have indeed been too tired after a long week. You two need to compromise and agree to perhaps add to the Sunday deal. No harm in during the week now and then. Good luck. I do know some your age who have pretty much quit. At least you two have not.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I am not a doctor but I've been looking more deeply into hormonal balance lately.

    I remember reading that testosterone (also known as sex hormone) produces early in the morning that's why by 8am many men wake up ready to go, which  is actually a very good sign! 

    Women's testorone production may decrease with age if not taken care of. Testosterone is also responsible for regular menstrual cycle. 

    Since she is in her 50's than her cycle is now different and I would reccomend her tunning back with Moon cycles and study further into it.

    Additionally you both can look into herbs and aphrodisiacs. Be experimental and see what works best for you!

    For example cinnamon and nutmeg are known for increasing female libido.

    Notice all the major shopping is often done during fall season when everything smells so good and there is plenty on a table to choose from.

    If you want to have more energy and experience more aliveness, take care of health.

    Detox, invest into better greens and so on.

    We are currently taking different supplement powders by Markus Rothkranz and I'm very happy so far.

    There is a nighttime hormone balancing formula on a website that she might benefit from. When I received my order, there was a letter with additional instructions and it was mentioned that the nighttime formula can be combined with Man-Force (which is tailored more for testorone) for better balance. So perhaps that's what women sometimes need.

    Have fun!

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Any deviation from established procedures may lead to escaping a rut, but it takes both people.

    • Longtime Hubby
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      In the words of Rush, “everybody’s got to deviate from the norm.” Agreed.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    How about "anywhere BUT the bed". That's a start.

    • Longtime Hubby
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      Old days we need. May need refresher course?

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  • 4 weeks ago

    You want more sex, she doesn't. I think both of you would benefit from couples/sex therapy. It's not anything shameful to ask for help. She could also be at a point in her life where sex isn't all that important. These things ebb and flow in a relationship and you two aren't on the same page of things. This does not mean she loves you any less at all.

    Have you talked to her openly about how you feel? A big mistake that couples make is comparing their sex life to what the magazines and articles say; how much sex you *should* be having and all that crap. I've known happy couples who boink once a month, married for 20+ years. This is just their sex life. What's normal? Whatever you make it in YOUR relationship. 

    But again, if you're not happy and want more loving, talk to your wife about it. Again, maybe she's at a point where she's not feeling it right now, and this happens to a lot of women her age. Hell, it can happen to women of any age, any time. My husband and I would bang 3-4 times per week. His father passed away 7 years ago, I went through a deep depression, and now, we're at about 1-2 times per week and that's perfectly fine for us. We love our fun time. What's important is that we talk about it, openly, holding nothing back. We still love each other deeply, still talk, still laugh, still go out, and our sex life isn't on the back burner, just simply slowed down and that's cool. It's not like we dread sex, but we are working on making more time for each other in the bedroom and have even talked about a long weekend away, just hanging out naked in a cabin, LOL. 

    Also, my mother is one to talk candidly about her sex life and said that in her 30's, it was the last thing she wanted to do. In her 40's, she couldn't stop wanting it. Early 50's, she had NO DESIRE at all. Now she's in her early 60's and frequently has romps with my stepdad. This is all normal, the ups and downs. TALKING and communicating honestly is what will get you both through it.

    • Longtime Hubby
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      Just wanted “more” that one night. So you are not correct. We both enjoy it. Just need to break routine.

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