How do I ask my friend if there’s something wrong with her, but in a nice way?
I met this girl in my class, and I’ve been tutoring her since last semester. Anyway, I’m having a hard time keeping my patience with her, because she’s extremely ditzy and asks stupid questions. For example, we had a quiz in our singing class, and the directions were to look at the note on the staff, and write the note name (letter) in the space provided. She then turned to me, because she didn’t understand what that meant. Another example, we went grocery shopping, and she asked me verbatim, “how do I know if my car is on or not?” How do you drive to school everyday, and not know how to turn on your car? She signed up for a singing class, but went to the wrong class (a music history class by the way) for TWO weeks and didn’t realize it. She’s 23, but looks like a kid, acts like a kid, and talks like a kid (she has that high pitched, “dumb girl” voice. If that makes sense). She squeals and whines a lot, and one time in class, she looked like she was about to cry, so I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she was sad but didn’t know why (in that whine-y kid voice). I can’t tell if she has a problem or if she is just acting this way, but I’m running out of patience for her, and I need advice on what to do.
- MerryLv 71 month agoFavorite Answer
Some differences do not come with a label or diagnosis. Asking her "what is wrong with you" is the equivalent to saying you don't accept her or like her as she is.
If you truly feel you need to say something choose your words carefully & make it about you, not her, also remember to not just focus on the negatives
eg - You did well in our tutoring session today - I find it difficult & don't like when you whinge. I become frustrated and impatient & I want to be a good tutor and friend to you. I think when you speak in a grown up voice that you will be heard and respected more.
- myfavouritelucyLv 71 month ago
You sound about 12, you are not capable of tutoring ANYBODY, and you are clearly very lonely.
- SandyLv 71 month ago
bail. you aren't obligated to be her friend.
- GypsyfishLv 71 month ago
Yeah, I hate that little girl voice. The thing is that some girls find out that playing the dumb little girl works for them socially. Adults think they're cute, and a lot of guys like it because it makes them feel superior and smarter. But it's a real disadvantage when they go into the workplace. No one takes them seriously. I don't think there's any way you can tell her to act more mature without her being offended, but you could try.
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- LoonaseeLv 41 month ago
Why do you think you need to do anything? If you don't accept her, ditzyiness, childlike behavior, high pitch "dumb girl" voice, all of her, then move on.
- FekefufuLv 71 month ago
SHe's autistic, just understand she has a different brain than yours