How do I tell my cousin I cannot go to her Wedding without being disrespectful?

Thing is I am out of school and have a student loan to pay off so it will be a financial burden on me. He asked all the people at the wedding wear red suits and I do not have $200 to buy all the suits, plus the gas to travel there and the hotel. I never noticed my loan and the interest rate is $1.75/day that is ridiculous.

Obviously i DON'T wanna tell him thatt I'm throwing money away to his wedding when I can pay off my loan but my loan is more important. I was behind on 2 payments and it was sent to collections, and 1 more missed payment and it will affect my credit score.

I told my aunt and she said she will give me money to cover my loan and I told her no I don't need your money, I can pay it off myself, I just won't go to your sons wedding.

30 Answers

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  • zipper
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    You just call him and tell him I can not afford to come. I do not have the money. BUT I WISH YOU BOTH THE BEST AND HAPPIEST OF DAYS!

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  • Doctor
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    Please just mail your friend what all you have expressed here!

    Being true to yourself is great.

    You have taken a right decision. 

    A friend shouldn't feel bad on knowing truth, should appreciate your wisdom! 

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  • 3 weeks ago

    It is always some kind of hardship, going to a wedding for most people. Usually its doable. But when you are part of the wedding, or a request to buy a red suit.  Not sure why, but it is inconsiderate to request guests to buy a $200-$500 dress or suit to go to a wedding. One of my sisters, paid the price, spending over $15,000  had over 300 guests. It took her almost 10 yrs and paid back $22,000.  Just be honest. Its too much cost to handle at this time. Sorry, and send what you can afford or the cost of the meal, even though you won't be going. As I said what you can afford, comes first, or the $40-$60 a person it can cost.  Your aunt just does not understand. Its not just not having the money now, you do not want another debt on your hands. Barely covering your bills each month owing $20,000 adding another $500 or more by someone loaning you the money is not helping, because you still take on more debt. Good luck. 

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  • 3 weeks ago

    TROLL

    I just saw this exact question on the uk site two days ago, even to the wanting him/her to wear red--only it was a guy cousin!

    Quit wasting our time & good will. Find something useful to do.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Just be straight.. I DO NOT HAVE A RED SUIT, I HAVE NO OTHER USE FOR A RED SUIT , IF you want me to go then YOU BUY ME A RED SUIT and then you can have it back after the wedding as IT IS STUPID and THERE IS NO OTHER USE FOR IT.

    After all its your cousin and if you cannot be truthful with a cousin then you have a problem.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Accept the help and don't go because covering your student loan doesn't take care of all your expenses for the wedding.  It's best in life to accept help and some older people actually have more money.  Don't feel bad about accepting help just call your Aunt and tell her you changed your mind about the help she offered.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    "I'm sorry, I will not be able to attend." Short and sweet, you don't owe him a reason why not, neither is he responsible for your reason.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    People should not be mandating what people wear to a wedding especially something that you will likely never wear again.  Send your regrets that you are unable to attend, you don't need to go into the details.

  • 4 weeks ago

    I would write "I am unable to attend your wedding. I am sorry." If they ask why tell them the truth.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Just RSVP that you can't attend. You don't need to give a reason.

    • Jerry
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      Not only aren't required to give a reason, but required (by etiquette, good manners) to NOT give a reason. 

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