Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 weeks ago

Bf (26) wants to go to clubs/pool party in vegas with single friends. ?

Do you think it is okay for a guy in a relationship to go clubbing with single guy friends? 

He usually goes clubbing once a month with two single guys. I'm never invited and he tells me they drink and take drugs. I'm not much of a partier so I see why he wouldn't invite me, but I have told him I'd like to try it. He says he just goes to dance and meet people and that girls talk to him sometimes.In my eyes, a guy in a relationship should have no interest going out clubbing and trying to meet people. If you want to meet people, you can go elsewhere? It's a huge issue for me because I feel like he is acting single, putting himself in distasteful environments. If he wants to act single, then I will let him be single. But everytime we almost break up, it just can't happen; we love each other too much to let go. What should I do? 

P.S. I recently went to Vegas without him with my siblings and cousins (all 20ish) and he was very anxious and upset the whole time I was there, yet he expects me to be cool with his party ways. I didn't even go clubbing, just stayed at the hotel and shop! 

Also, he hasn't planned a trip with just me and him in a long while, so it stings more when he is so excited, always planning clubbing trips with his buddies. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Hopefully you two aren't living together. It really does sound like he is a single man. This is his way, apparently. He's all up in that "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" magical thinking. I don't see how you can do anything about that. Except realize it. And make your own choices accordingly.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Here's something you need to know:  When people cheat on their significant whatever (wife, girlfriend, life partner, it's all the same), they don't do it because they were in a club.  Nobody ever cheats because they were hanging out with single friends.  Or because they were drinking, drugging and / or dancing.  That's not why anyone cheats.

    When people cheat (male or female), they do it for only one reason.  People cheat because they want to.  

    All that stuff about "I made a mistake" or "we got caught up in the moment and I lost control" is pure bull shift.  So is trying to blame the whole thing on their partner (which females do more than males, but males do it too).  They're just trying to avoid admitting responsibility for what they did.

    Let's face it, nobody in the history of history has ever stopped in the middle of sex and said "wait, how did I end up here" or "hold up, this isn't what I came here to do", not even once.  Unless you include rape victims (which I don't, because rape is an attack and not sex), nobody has ever had accidental or unintentional sex with another person.  It's not possible.

    See where I'm going with this?  If your boyfriend cheats on you, and I'm not saying he is or isn't, it won't be because he went to a club with his buddies.  It won't be because he got drunk or high, and it won't be because he suddenly somehow forgot he's in a relationship.  If your boyfriend cheats, he'll cheat because he wanted to.  

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  • 4 weeks ago

    there is nothing wrong in meeting new people. however his "new people" are only women, so he does not go clubbing to meet "new people", he goes there to meet women and act single. there is nothing wrong with going clubbing while u re young, u and him should go together. of course if u absolutely are against clubbing u should not forbid him to go alone, so maybe u should get another bf who wouldn't want to go clubbing and do drugs.

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  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Yes.

    If you don't trust your partner for a few days or a night without you...  you're with the wrong person.

    If your partner plans more things with other people than they do with you... you're with the wrong person.

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