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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 4 months ago

My ex boyfriend wants to stay friends. What should I do? ?

My ex boyfriend recently broke up with me because he wanted to find his purpose and focus on other issues. Our relationship has grown toxic, so I decided to respect his decision (but I still wonder why we can’t do this together). We decided to talk it out some more, and he said he still cares for and trusts me. He said wants to stay friends and not to give any false hope, but if feelings are still mutual, we’d try again. The day after we talked, he hits me up and asks if I’d like to watch a movie with him. I refused at first since we just broke up, but after awhile I changed my mind to catch the vibe of between us post break up. On the day of the movie, it felt distant. There was a distinct space; he wouldn’t get close to me. Between my friends and I, we’d be able to sit shoulder to shoulder comfortably. But with him, it felt so stiff. then he seemed after cold when I texted him a day after. He doesn’t really have anyone to talk about his problems and our break up, and it seems like he doesn’t want to think about our break up either. 

I’m trusting that he’s going through some things right now. But my question is: 

Should I stay friends with him? I’m a bit sad over the break up, but as I said I’ll respect his decision. Would there be a chance for us to get back together? I do miss him and I want to fix our relationship. I still love him lol. Is he just completely done with me? What are your experiences being friends with your ex? I’m sorry, I’m so confused on what to do now.

3 Answers

  • Linda
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Some people can just be friends with their ex and some cannot. In your particular case, he broke up with you to find his so called purpose but then he asked to take you to a movie and he wouldn't hardly talk and he seemed unnaturally stiff and almost cordial. I would date others and let him have his space to find himself and figure out whether he loves you or not? You cannot fix this alone without his input and he needs to make a decision and not leave you wondering how he feels and what his next move will be? If he cannot decide soon, you might have to move on and let him know you cannot wait for him to make up his mind forever. Good luck!

    Source(s): Experience with men
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  • 4 months ago

    Yeah what he's doing isn't completely fair to you. Even though he initiated the breakup, you were still apart of it too and need to heal from it. I would suggest cutting him off for now and letting him find whatever he is looking for. He can't do that if he's still distracted by the feelings and emotions that were there between you two.

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    You CAN be friends, but ONLY once you are totally over him ... at least a year or more. Until then, you need to TOTALLY avoid him in all ways.

    A toxic relationship is a clear indication that you two are not compatible and that breaking up is the right thing to do.

    As for "feelings" .. those are not love. Feelings are a selfish attachment to how WE feel. And the more we are in the relationship for selfish reasons, the more toxic it will be and the less likely it will ever last.

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