Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

This guy I'm talking with dropped this information bomb... now what?

We've known each other for a while and have been talking. We haven't gone on a date yet, but are planning to. Over text he tells me that he would like his future wife to move in with him and his mom and live in the basement of her house. His mom has some major health issues, so I completely understand. However, my dad isn't getting any younger. I would like to be able to take care of him as well. I think it's a bit self-centered to only think of his family and not mine. Not to mention I'm not sure how I feel about living in the basement of his mom's house? That's a little awkward. I'm now questioning if I even want to go on a date with him. What should I do?

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  • :)
    Lv 5
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I’m also like you, when it comes to dating; I think long term. Why go on a first date if I already see things that won’t work out long term right? Well, sometimes.

    This is something that you could both resolve later. Perhaps a few years down the line you two both decide to live in an area that’s close enough to both of your parents; sort of halfway. You compromise but neither of you living without your parents, but being close enough to see them often. I understand the desire to care for your parents. You’re not the only couple who faces this.

    What I’m saying is, this is something that seems awful now but could change. However, if you’re not convinced or comfortable, I understand not going on the date. I date to marry as well.

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  • 1 month ago

    Wow some of these answers are really rude! I also think about the long-term potential prior to dating someone.I was raised with the mind-set that the only purpose to dating was to find a spouse. I am 23 years old and I've never been on a date. I have yet to find a guy with marriage potential. Good for you for thinking in advance! Don't listen to the bullies on here. After marriage you should find your own place. It's immature of him to expect his wife to move in with her in-laws. That is extremely awkward. I would question if he's even ready to find a wife in the first place. What is your gut telling you? More times than not it's right.

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  • 1 month ago

    You are thinking way ahead, aren't you? You are considering how you will live together, when you haven't even begun dating??? !

    You might or might not even want to go on a second date with him.  Gee whiz.  If where you plan to live together is such a deal breaker, already, don't bother with the first date.  

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  • Rick
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Since you haven't dated him yet, it doesn't mean this will matter right now.  When you meet him, you might decide he's not the one for you.  

    However, it's good to know these are his plans if things move forward with the two of you.  Since he told you this before the first date, it's something that's really important to him.

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  • 1 month ago

    You are just DATING.

    It does not mean you are gonna get marry.

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