Will my Child Support be high if I Can prove that I take care of my Child Financially and with time?

Hey Guys And Gals.

So I was in love with a woman who apparently did not love me back..

I was thinking more long term and she was thinking more short term fling lol.

Now, a year later we have an amazingly gorgeous baby girl who is gonna be 1 soon. She is so great and I love her so much. 

Now, Her mom does not want to be with me and I respect that. I still take care of my Child even though we not together. I even offered her and My Baby Girl Jamie to live with me.  She Refused. 

Im their for all Dr Appointments, All Food and pampers I supply, And I just cant stop taking pictures with her. She is such a cutie. 

Her Mom is more so trying to Date someone else , Where as I myself am taking a break from dating to be with my Daughter. Plus I dont want new woman trying to meet my child if i start dating. Now her Mom has a different opinion and I have no power in that situation because it is her life and decision. 

the one good thing is that I get to see Jamie  like everyday after work so thats good. 

Now Jamie's Mom is trying to Create arguments when I am a non-Argument type of person when it comes to my child. She is threatening to put me on child support. I Think this is unfair but the worlds unfair. I just want to be in my childs life. Money is one thingbut what if she says i cannot see my daughter anymore? 

Do men have any defense if he is being a Real Dad?

Please help , I Know it was a mistake to get her pregnant but I am being Responsible in this situation.

6 Answers

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Child support is a court decision, what you've done or buy isn't factored into it..  state laws are.  

    If you're going to court for a custody agreement ... child support is typically 20-25% of your AGI (adjustable gross income).  It also covers things like who is required to carry insurance on the child, who pays co-pays, claiming them on your taxes, who gets what holiday's.  Who pays for daycare if it's necessary, etc.  When she gets to school age .. a lot of custodial parents will ask for extra for clothes, school supplies, field trips..etc...  that is to be paid from child support.

    A custody agreement has 3 parts to it..  custody, visitation and child support.  Those are all completely separate and one has nothing to do with the other.  Custody determines who the child primarily lives with, that person is also usually the person who makes legal decisions, visitation is to give the non-custodial parent parenting time to have an adequate bond with the child and child support is to support the basic needs of a child which is food, clothing, shelter and medical care.

    Even if you were/are  on good terms, it's generally in everyone's best interest (especially the kids) to have a formal, court approved custody agreement because that can always change.  That way nobody can dispute parenting/visitation time or who is responsible for what. 

    Call baby mama's bluff and tell her you intend to seek primary custody ... she will back off.  She can be on the receiving end of a child support order.  Men can and do get custody of their kids everyday.

    If you decide to petition the court for custody...  a judge will love you if you actually ask for 50/50 shared custody because that shows the court that you know your kid needs both parents and needs equal time with you both.  If you just ask for visitation, you'll get the basic every other weekend and a few hours on Wednesday.  Two weeks in the summer and every other holiday.  My started out with the standard custody agreement because well he lived 1500 miles away (he was in the military) but when he moved back to our home state we switched to 50/50 shared custody.  They'd be with their dad for a week and then with me for a week, we got along so it worked for us and the kids benefited from it.

    Even if you have 50/50 shared custody..  it's possible one of you still would pay child support, it's ordered based on the needs of the child.  

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  • 4 weeks ago

    You have plenty of father rights. It is to your BENEFIT to go to court and get a settled cost and custody share. Her "threats" are logical. If you believe that you'd be the better custodial parent, then get your ducks in a row and be prepared to head to court. If she's "threatening" ... head's up! She does not have the legal right to prevent you from seeing your child if you are the legal father. Did you sign the birth certificate? Have you had a DNA test done? It sounds like you are going to have to settle this in court like MOST people do. It doesn't have to be a confrontational fight. It's just a responsibility. There is nothing "unfair" about settling up how two single parents are going to share the responsibility for their child.

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  • steve
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    I don't know the rules of child support or ability to see a child if a relationship broke down outside of what would happen in UK.

    Here, financial child support would be determined on your income and how much you were already contributing. Spending money for a special trip out that wasn't a regular thing wouldn't be taken into account.

    Child support is a percentage or your income if you are the absent parent when compared to the income of the parent where the child is living. If your total income is less than the parent with care then sometimes that is zero but there is nothing to stop you offering help our buying gifts.

    Access to a Child is a completely separate issue. If both parents are agreeable then the courts would not need to be involved. If you and the mother are happy to let you see her as often as you want then no reason to get anyone else involved.

    The only thing you have to worry about is if the mother decides what you contribute is not enough and asks for more. Then the authorities will look at your finances to decide.

    • robert4 weeks agoReport

      This is just absurd. I do everything for her and the child. I understand you dont want me but Im always there and support them both. This system is screwed if a Dad who is fighting for his kid is penalized. Their should be a rule where mom has to use child support money for the child lol. 

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Child support and visitation are two separate things, and child support is not admission you pay to be allowed to see your child. It is in YOUR best interest to get a visitation order put in place, because then your baby mama can’t keep you from seeing your daughter without having consequences.

    Relative to child support, unfortunately, you may be on the hook for back support dating back to when your child was born. What kind of proof do you have that you have been providing financial support for your child since she was born? Do you have receipts for everything you have purchased and for money you have given to her mother? Paying for food and diapers is not equivalent to what you would be paying for child support, so even if you can prove every penny you have spent, you still may be determined to owe back support.

    Given the relationship it sounds like you have with your child’s mother, your best protection is to go to court and get a visitation order and a child support order put in place. That way your ex can’t keep you from seeing your child, and you are taking care of your appropriate financial responsibilities to your child. Doesn’t she deserve that?

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    • n2mama
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      You are obligated to pay child support. It is for your child, regardless of how you may feel about her mother. And if you get a formal custody agreement put in place, she can’t erase you from your child’s life. GO TO COURT- it is in your best interest.

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  • Eva
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You have a right to visitation and that is done through family court, usually at the same time as child support is determined. Your ex has every right to file for support. At least then, everyone is on the same page as to what their responsibilities are.

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  • AJ
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Child Support and Visitation are 2 entirely separate issues for the courts to decide.

    If she files for Child Support you file for Visitation.

    But if Child Support is done, then you need to stop providing anything directly to the mother or the child other than say a bday/xmas gift for the child. All Child Support payments go through Child Services as they keep the ledger on what you owe, what you paid, and what was disbursed.

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