Is my husband into his friend or am I being insecure?
He became friends with her 4 years ago, he is a social person. They see eachother every week in church group events, he makes a lot of jokes with her and they share some stuff in common. They text almost every day. When she's down about something he cames to cheer her up. And he also brings her up in conversations when we talk or question if I talked to her. He hang out with her in groups and wants us to hang with her family. Like am I being paranoid/insecure or not?
- James BlackleyLv 74 weeks ago
As someone who has a lifetime of experience with cheaters (my dad cheated on my mom, aunt ****** around on her husband, my ex cheated on me with a mutual friend of ours), you have come to the right person for this!
I'm not seeing any concerning signs here when it comes to them! They only see each other in social settings, they never hang out alone together, he doesn't hide the fact they text, he doesn't lie about meeting up with her etc. The biggest and I mean biggest clue here that he's not cheating, is that he wants you to meet her, trust me, if he was ******* her he would keep her as far away from you as possible.
The time to be concerned is if he spends 1 vs 1 time with her, changes his passwords, deletes their convos, stays out all night, stops having sex with you or limits it, buys you items excessively, calls out her name in bed etc.... those would be times to be really suspicious.
I remember one of my Dad's affairs, it was with my scout leader (sickening I know) and he would never touch my Mom when he was ******* the side piece, he would stay out late at night, he would always come to my camping trips but lie to my Mom about the reasoning behind it. He was never "open" about their "friendship", always on the down low!
I really don't think you have anything to worry about here.
- OcimomLv 71 month ago
This is a yellow flag. Can lead to more intimate things.
- Ace ShortyLv 71 month ago
I don't think a person who is having an affair with someone else would encourage his spouse to hang with her family. What does her family consist of, kids, siblings or parents? Why aren't you involved in the church groups with your husband?
- 1 month ago
Your husband is having an affair. He's clearly infatuated with his "friend" and is trying to come clean about it to you. It is a possibility that this seductress is the devil incarnate too. You should immediately press your husband on this issue and accuse him point blank of having an extramarital affair. Doing so will bring the issue to the table and force him to tell you the truth, or at least get you the opportunity to see whether he is lying. Whatever you do, don't take his words at face value without evidence he is not cheating on you. It certainly sounds like he is.
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- FoofaLv 71 month ago
If he was trying to hide something he wouldn't be inviting her into the family. Although it's fair to ask him to dial it back if this friendship is taking away from value time with you.
- Alan HLv 71 month ago
Make sure that you each work on your marriage
If you feel he is too close, gently express your concerns
- Anonymous1 month ago
Its perfectly fine for a married man to have female friends, just so it does not go any further. If they were having an affair he would never talk about her around you.
- 1 month ago
I can see why this bothers you . Talk to him about it . Communicate with him dont just jump to conclusions . Maybe he thinks of her as a good friend . Doesnt mean he likes her maybe he just likes to speak w her. Put yourself in his shoes , if You have a good friendship w a guy but you see him just as friends ur husband shouldnt have anything to worry about.
- HelenLv 71 month ago
I can understand why you're threatened, but if you had anything to worry about, do you think he would bring her up in conversation with you or suggest hanging out with her family?
Like it or not - she seems important to him. Perhaps it might help you to get to know her better, and if you haven't already, hanging out with her and her family might be a good idea - if just to watch how they interact together.
- DavidLv 71 month ago
It seems that you are being selfish by not sharing your husband with another women who needs as much of a sexual relationship as you do.