Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 months ago

New boyfriend going though my phone?

1st off I have nothing to hide! I never gave him a reason to want to look though my phone. 

We only been dating maybe two weeks.

I left my phone on the table, and I went to the bathroom. When I walked in the room he was holding my phone, and said he was checking the time. 

When I looked at it my text messages were open, and I know for a fact I cleared everything out. 

There was nothing. Worst thing would be a male friend wanting to grab a bite to eat together. 

7 Answers

Relevance
  • 9 months ago

    He doesn't have respectful boundaries and is clueless. Having an anticipation for the respect of privacy has NOTHING to do having anything to hide. You don't have to have a "reason" to require respect of personal privacy and possessions. Is he a guy who will go through all your drawers while you're in the shower and read your diary? It's not about having anything to hide! It's about the flat out fact that going through someone else's phone or things is a distrustful and dishonest thing to do.

    I'd rethink that boyfriend label if I were you. Only dating two weeks? He doesn't deserve that title anyway. Take good care of yourself.

    I read here all the time that people think they have the right to go through other people's phones. Like their phone is a potential weapon. And you'll have all the days you tolerate it to deal with being investigated and questioned. I'd not tolerate it.

  • 9 months ago

    People need to leave the phones of others ALONE. It's personal and private. Going through someone's phone is the same as going through their wallet or dresser drawers. That's off limits for someone with some tact and manners. I guess it's not a problem for morons.

    Sounds like a big, fat red flag to me

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    I'm struggling with your leaving your personal property on a table. I'm old-fashioned. I don't leave my wallet, keys, or phone on a table. In any case, he violated your privacy, and would do it again.

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    I would use this as an opportunity to set boundaries. Sit down and talk to him, let him know that's not okay and won't be accepted. That this crossed a line and that you won't have it. He cannot touch your phone without permission. Don't defend yourself, and don't give him the chance to say "well if you have nothing to hide then...". Just tell him it's not up for discussion. If it happens again you simply won't be together anymore because it's a violation of your privacy.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    Plainly, he cannot be trusted.   Are you content with that?

  • Helen
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    You already know that's a major red flag. Personally I would call it a day right then, but if you want to give him another chance, that would be his last warning.

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Do you have a question?   You didn't actually ask one.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.