Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Business & FinanceCareers & EmploymentFood Service · 1 month ago

My coworker's family and my other co-workers complained about me and I got written up...?

I was written up at work as a server. Yes, I was in a bad mood because this other server kept getting sat and his section was completely full when I only had 2 tables. A group of people came in and I raced to the front before the hostess could skip me again and I'm thinking YES I can finally seat myself- but then they told me that they wanted to specifically sit in the other server's section. The hostess then came up so I put down the menus feeling a bit annoyed and walked away. I figured that she could take care of them (since it is her job) but me walking away was construed as being hostile and apparently the group that came in was the other server's family (I didn't know) and so they complained to my manager and then apparently all of my co-workers who witnessed went out of their way to complain to my manager- so I got written up. I guess I was shocked because I didn't mean to come as being so aggressive- maybe it was the look on my face because I hate that other server- one time a CUSTOMER told me that this server told them he was sorry they were stuck with me because I was a terrible server. I would consider this harassment in a way. I kind of feel attacked because his family complained about me- I feel like they are entitled people. I feel hurt that all my co-workers tried to sabotage me. Do you think I should quit? How would you handle this situation? 

Update:

Also, I do realize I was a bit passive aggressive and I should have handled it differently...  :( 

I just wish I didn't feel targeted 

8 Answers

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  • 1 week ago
    Favorite Answer

    You were being immature and unprofessional and the people around you noticed.

    Whatever issues you and your coworker have, you need to work it out. If you can’t figure it out on your own, ask your boss if you can plan a time for the two of you to talk with your boss present as a mediator.

    I would handle this situation by resolving my differences with my coworker and remaining professional in front of customers even when I’m upset or annoyed.

    • Mini
      Lv 5
      1 week agoReport

      I was able to work things out at work and with the coworker. Thanks for your input. 

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  • Erik
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You have a poor attitude.  When you are a server, you have to polite and friendly no matter what.  I can understand you are frustrated, but you can't act that way.  In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if you were on your way out.

    • Mini
      Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      Luckily my manager is willing to work with me on my attitude so I’m not on my way out yet. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Change your behavior. Leave that crap outside. 

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  • 1 month ago

    What you DO in a situation where your section isn't being seated is to go talk to the manager.

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You weren’t targeted. You acted inappropriately and there were consequences to that. Accept it, learn from it, and move on. 

    I’m guessing you didn’t just set the menus down and walk away, I’m guessing you slammed them down, huffed or sighed or rolled your eyes, or in some other way expressed your displeasure, which the customers found offensive. It doesn’t matter that they were the other servers family, what matters is that they were offended by your actions, AND you actions were obvious to other co-workers as well. Unless you have a history of issues with all your co-workers (in which case you should be looking at your attitude and actions anyway), you need to realize that you were out of line with this situation. Nobody was ganging up on you, but if you really, truly believe they were, then yes, you should quit and find a new job, because this obviously is not a good fit for you.

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    • n2mama
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Not lashing out, don’t know you and don’t care about your situation. I’m telling you the same thing I’d tell my teenage daughter if she was whining about this. Your perception of feedback speaks volumes about why you feel targeted and that people are lashing out. Nobody can help a closed mind.

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  • Eva
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Obviously there's a problem if the hostess is seating more people in the other section than are being seated in yours. Your attitude could be the reason, or the other server may be tipping out the hostess. Examine your own behavior and abilities before you go blaming someone else. Sounds like there needs to be a meeting between you, your boss, the other server, and the hostess to get this all aired out.

    • Mini
      Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      I do think it’s because the other server tips the hostess out more. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Well, you talked about how much you hate the other server, and it sounds like everyone in the room was offended by your behavior. If everyone noticed it, you can't blame them. If you can't see your responsibility for your actions, I'd recommend you find a different line of work.

  • Bort
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Things happen for a reason and we need to listen and follow the direction things are taking us when they do. It doesn't sound like being a server is the field of work you should be in. If you like working at this place ask about moving in to the kitchen instead of serving. It's probably best you find a different job.

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    • n2mama
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      No, it doesn’t. If you believe that it does, you will perceive that every place you work. Go ahead, choose to be a victim and see where that takes you in life.

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