Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 4 weeks ago

Should I let a toxic friend go? Even with all the fun memories?

Hi guys! Thank y’all for taking time to speak on my current situation. So a guy I used to be insanely close with. Is no longer speaking to me. Not sure why. It started off as after lunch. Usually he’s with me and a small group of friends, we were all laughing and cracking jokes. Even if they were kinda cheesy, we were having fun. Well, he wasn’t laughing. He told us he “couldn’t stand us”, and completely walked off. I didn’t pay much mind to it, because that’s how he usually plays. It turns out, he wasn’t talking to us for a remainder of the day. So I approach him and ask what we did. And he said “Nothing.” And refused to keep the conversation going, and walked off. That was last week, on Tuesday. He still isn’t talking to us, and I felt bad at first, but now I want my belongings back. He has a $10 candle I bought him for Christmas and a ring I bought myself about a year ago. He didn’t completely cut me off because by experience, he cut one of his old friends off, and completely blocked her off of all social media. I deleted his phone number, and pictures of him. He’s still following me and I’m debating if I should unfollow him on my own. He wasn’t exactly a good friend to me. He would constantly bring up my past regrets, relationships, pretty much everything I told him that I haven’t told anyone else. The only thing I want out of this is an explanation on why he’s so disrespectful and why he suddenly to decided to not talk to me. Any advice?

Update:

I don’t know if I’m overreacting about the presents but I don’t want him to use my stuff given to him and constantly ignore me and act like I’m the problem. I think it’s disrespectful

Update 2:

He’s done this before. He ignored me because he felt like he needed a “break” from me. I’m not pointing a gun to his head, forcing him to be his friend. He can make friends with people similar to his own personality. He shouldn’t trash mine, and talk about how nice it was without my presence. 

Update 3:

*to be my friend. 

1 Answer

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Forget about the gifts, once you give someone a present, it's theirs.

    As for communicating with him, it seems that whatever you all were "joking" around about hurt him badly.  Maybe it wasn't the first time, but in any case, he was hurt enough to walk off and leave the group.

    So now, if you want to communicate with him you'll have to do it on your own, away from the others.  Maybe he'll talk with you, maybe he won't.  But if you want an explanation it's worth your effort.

    In the future, be more careful about joking around if someone could be hurt by the "humor".

    • ...Show all comments
    • Texperson
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      Well possibly he's not a great fit as your friend.  You have to decide if you want to continue being his friend.  Young people change as they grow and maybe its time to move on from him if he causing you too much anxiety.

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