? asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 4 weeks ago

Parenting?

I am a single mum and my kids are growing up. I am utterly exhausted from parenting. I have single parented for the last 12 years. Like most single parents, I have made many sacrifices. One being not having a partner for those years. I truly need a break! Maybe 3-6-12months away from them. The youngest will be 18 in 2 years. I am thinking of asking them to move in with their dad for that time. However, I am wondering if they will be affected by my request and decision to have a break. I worry because I have always been there for them. I’ve done well and my kids have done well going through divorce. They never did that rebellious and angry thing, as I protected them. I fear that at 18yo I may affect them, by my decision as they are still young. Would it be right?

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  • R L
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    I am a single dad of 23 and 17 yr old....my older has left the nest and my younger has his license and car. I have put my needs emotionally and physically on hold to be there for them emotionally. I am now finally at a point to live my life for me and finally meet someone just for me emotionally and sexually so I understand your feelings and they are justified. They are old enough for you to find some happiness.

    • ?3 weeks agoReport

      Very true! They have been telling me to find someone, but my responsibilities are strong and I know they aren’t ready. However, by the time I do this they will be 18 and 21. It’s just a break. I’ll see how things go from there. If all goes well, I should be able to move on like you have said. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Hang in there for 24 more months. Perhaps you can ask your ex to take your 16 year old during school vacations in summer break for the next two years.

    It is time that you begin your own life. And that can be done while you still have a teenager at home. Millions of single mothers date. And so can you if you really want to. Don't Place limitations on your life. You have more control over what you do then you're giving yourself credit for. Just because you have teenagers doesn't mean you can't etch out some of your own happiness.

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  • LizB
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Yes, they'll be affected, particularly the 16 year old. If your kids are the ones who want to move in with their father, then that's fine, they're old enough to make that choice. But just dumping them on their dad and running off to live a new life somewhere is a decision that your teenage children will never understand. They'll just see that their mom got sick of them and took off before they were completely grown up.

    Many parents these days have a 50/50 custody arrangement, you know. Why don't you talk to their dad about doing that, so that at least you'd get every other week to be kid-free and focus on other things, including some self-care? Or if that's not practical because of where your ex lives, then suggest he take them for midwinter/spring break, and most of summer break this year. Be willing to go back to court and reduce any child support you're receiving accordingly.

    • ?3 weeks agoReport

      They will be 18 and 21 by the time I wish to do this. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Sorry, but this question is obviously written by a child, not a parent. Troll harder.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    They will hate  you.

    They won't understand.

    You might get away with a two week to one month "vacation" but to turn them over to their other parent for any longer than that at this point would be like abandonment to them.  

    You might as well just yell out "I don't want you anymore.....this was too hard."

    You have teenagers now - how hard can it be.  

    • ?3 weeks agoReport

      At 18 and 21 they won’t understand? Lol. Perhaps read the post again. 

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