Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 weeks ago

Time to move out but how?

My mother and I share a duplex style house (living room bedroom n bathroom on one side & 2bdrm a living room and bthrm on the other side)  that is joint by the kitchen and we split the bills in half (I’m 26). She has 2 dogs, one of them being a husky that sheds rediculously and lately we’ve been arguing so much and I feel bad but she literally lets the dog all over the kitchen so when I go to cook there is dog hair everywhere even on things in the fridge and I can’t use the washer and dryer because she doesn’t clean it after she uses it and it’s filled with dog hair and dirt. I’m not sure how to handle this situation but I am halfways through my pregnancy and I desperately want to move out and start a family of my own with the father of my child but I know she won’t be able to handle the bills on her own because it’s tough now for her with just the half of everything. What am I to do I am an adult but I feel trapped like I would be leaving her down and out; this living situation is so stressful on me plus the arguing Is just making me so depressed.

Update:

You are right, dog hair might not kill me but everyone doesn’t like it everywhere especially where they have to cook and eat.

11 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    So everyone agrees that you should not continue to live in this situation, however you resolve it. Me too.  You have several options, including announcing that you are moving out by a given date and expecting your mother to make whatever other arrangements she chooses to make. I highly doubt if someone else would rent with her, given your description.   She'll either have to clean up her act , or move, herself.  You should be in a clean environment of your own, with your baby and its father. Have you considered marriage by the way? Enough said,other than its time for you to be independent of your parent in any case.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Get her a new roommate. Then exit.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Offer the place for rent right now, and tell your mom you're looking for a new tenant for your part of the space.

    And i know huskies... they have to be brushed every day as the rule. Many people take the dogs to a groomer once a month for a good brush-out.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    I assume you already got your life together before f**king a dude, and getting knocked up. If you didn't get your life together then you probably won't be in a much better position than your mother if you separate from the guy who knocked you up, for whatever reason.

    I understand you are able to pay your half of the bills, but if you separate from the guy who knocked you up, for whatever reason then I think you will be screwed. You might end up having to financially support your baby, and I assume you already know your baby won't be able to pay, for any bills, so you might end up having to pay all of the bills all by yourself.

    I suggest, for your mother to get rid of her dogs, and find a smaller place to live. Tell her you are going to leave, and she needs to find someone who can care, for her dogs. Tell her that she should not get, and have anymore dogs.

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  • Carmen
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago

    A wise person sees danger and protects themselves a wise person counts the cost before making huge decisions like living with someone even if it's a family member. It's ok to try to help each other out but if it's your mom didn't you know about the dogs and how she was living before you moved in with her or visa versa? Even if you were aware it's still  it healthy for you to be stressed out being pregnant and it's definitely not sanitary for dog hair to be in kitchen or laundry area there should be boundaries so to keep a calm heart and your peace of mind discuss this matter again if possible with your mom if things don't change in a positive manner think seriously about moving out when applicable your mom will be ok even if she had to downsize or whatever hard times or not she is the adult parent you can't raise her over again pray for her well being pray for courage and strength to do what's best for you and your child now .

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Your responsibility is to your child, who will definitely not benefit from a moulting husky in the house. These dogs need LOTS of running exercise, and lots of socialising. If they do not get these things, they can become unpredictable. Your stress over these matters will also be a threat to your pregnancy and your baby. Your arguing alone is stressful for you and your child. Your mother is responsible for herself. She is an adult, and has brought you up - on her own? She paid the bills while you were at school, so she will have to cope now. One supposes that getting rid of the dogs would make a much improved environment for a baby. Personally I love dogs and all animals (haven't eaten one for forty years - or even a bit of one!), so this is no prejudice on my part. Your mother will have to choose, won't she? You simply tell her what you need to tell her, that you and your child must come first, however much you love your mother. You owe your child everything and your mother nothing. No arguing about it - just do what you need to do. Good Luck!

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Unfortunately, it is indeed time to move. Your mother apparently is neither taking your baby's health nor your health into consideration. Try mentioning one more time that all the dog hair and the stress of arguing are putting you and your baby at risk.

    You ask how to go about moving?

    (1) Start by looking for 2 smaller SEPARATE apartment units. Make sure to find her an apartment that is affordable.

    (2) Start planning the logistics for your move. You need to very organized.

    (3) The next time you and she have a falling out, present her with the 2-apartment solution. Tell her if she wants, she can rent one of the apartments, but that you are definitely renting the other. YOU ARE MOVING OUT.

    (4) Give her the date by which you intend to be out of the current location.

    Good luck.

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  • Ricky
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Than move out ......

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Tell her you are moving out.  Give her 30 days notice to rent the  place;  or, if possible,  have a kitchen, washer and dryer,  installed on your side. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    i would just move out anyways, she can always rent a room

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