Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Wife never wants to have sex?

We have three kids and she never want to have sex anymore for the last couple months. I’ve had several talks with her and told her at our age we should be having sex but she has no libido. I try in the morning, at night, whenever she gives in it’s like a chore to her. She tells me she just doesn’t want too and she doesn’t know what’s going on. How do I make her want to have sex?

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  • James
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    That's frustrating. I'm sorry you're having to go through that.

    Quoting myself from a previous answer to someone who asked a similar question: You really have two options. One option is to get her to change, but to do that you have to change too - you have to be more romantic. You have to ignite (or re-ignite) the passion in her. Have a talk with her and be honest. Tell her that you want to have sex with her more often, and also ask her if she'd be interested in trying something new - don't get too crazy here - but suggest maybe trying some new positions, a new location, or maybe some role playing. Be careful about how you present yourself when having this conversation, though. Yes, there is an aspect of seriousness to it, but at the same time you don't want her to think that you're airing grievances or accusing her in anyway. Try to be loving when you talk to her, maybe even a little flirtatious and playful.

    I also recommend taking some time apart. I don't mean break up. I mean go away for a little while. Take a vacation or a business trip. Or better yet - send her on a vacation. She'll appreciate the gesture, and spending time apart will give both of you the opportunity to miss each other. Set up a romantic date night for when she gets back and tell her you can't wait to try that new position you were talking about last night. Prepare to seduce her.

    Hopefully this awakens the passion in her. I hate to say it, but if all else fails, then it may time to seriously consider option number two: Leave her. Find yourself a new sexual partner. But that should be last resort. Hopefully it won't come to that. Good luck.

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You may want to suggest she gets an exam and perhaps a doctor may be able to help stimulate her libido.

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  • 1 month ago

    man up and tell her u didnt apply for a NU or high priest job she needs to fulfill her wifely dooties or someone other cow will!

    good luck hun, i hope i helped!

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This is more common than you think, esp if your kids are young.  What happens is life becomes so demanding, a couple forgets to nurture their relationship.   This is why marriage counselors always recommend the 2 of you set aside scheduled date nights where you're out of the home and can focus on each other.  It's also recommended that you have an occasional weekend getaway to reconnect. 

    When you ask how to "make her want to have sex", obviously you can't make her want it in the moment.  So it's all about communication and reconnecting romantically.  

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  • 1 month ago

    It might get difficult for her to do so, but you n she needs counseling as it's not normal for a young lady who previously enjoyed sex not to want it any longer. Did this begin after her last pregnancy? Perhaps she's afraid of having another child. Again, I'd seek counseling.

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  • 1 month ago

    she likely doesnt want # 4

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You can’t force somebody to have sex if they don’t want to. That’s rape. I understand it might be frustrating for you but if you loved her then you’d respect her and her decisions.

    Ask her if you can go off with somebody else, considering that she refuses to have sex. 

    If you can’t get it from her, get it from someone else. But don’t force her to do anything, because that would make you a vile bore 

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