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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 2 months ago

My daughters best friend is on the wrong track?

My daughter is 11 and her best friend is 10, she is also our neighbor. Her friend has had 3 different boyfriends in a period of 3 months. This last bf has introduced her to vaping and has been sending her pics of weed and I told her parents about it, they did nothing. I told my daughter she cant hang out with her unsupervised and I told my daughter the dangers of vaping and weed and she understood. Her friend came over and tried telling my daughter to get on this site called omegle or something like that and it allows them to video chat with strangers. I immediately told her friend to leave and called her mom and again nothing was done the little girl still has all her devices. I have a feeling the mom thinks it's my daughter doing all this stuff and not hers. I have my daughters passwords for everything she does not hide anything from me and I took her devices away for not notifying me of what was going on with her friend a few months ago. So it had been months since the Vape thing and now the stranger chat. I told her she is not allowed to hang out with her anymore and she cried herself to sleep. She said this friend is the only one that doesnt judge her opinion, clothing, thoughts, and respects. Any thoughts on this? Also, I love the little girl they have been friends since they were 4 and I try to tell her to do right but I'm not her mom so I cant punish her. I made my daughter write a page explaining the dangers of talking to strangers online.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Any parents who'd let a 10 year-old have "boyfriends" is probably a lost cause. Just put some distance between your daughter and this family and explain to her that it's not her fault her friend has gone off the rails.

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  • 2 months ago

    It's your daughter, why can't you make your own decisions about her safety? I wonder

    • Jan C
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      Good decision. sad that some parents pay no attention. 

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You are teaching your daughter well.

    It would be a shame to spoil the friendship but if the behaviour continues you may have no alternative 

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  • 2 months ago

    You gotta stand your ground, the other girl is a bad example of what you want your daughter to be.Make her stay away.

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  • 2 months ago

    My thoughts on this?

    It's clear you don't trust your daughter! By saying "you can't hang out with her" is you saying you think she's a weak-minded person who will be suckered into doing things like drugs, sex, vaping etc.... its' very telling of how you view your own daughter to be honest!

    I'm not saying this other girl isn't troubled, because she clearly is! At 11 she is heading down the wrong path, but that doesn't mean she's been a bad friend to her (minus the odd slip up here and there). If she treats your daughter with respect, doesn't judge her, doesn't try to change her views etc.... then I would say why force this friendship to end? 

    You need to start trusting your daughter here! Your daughter is a smart young lady, she knows NOT to do drugs, to have sex at an early age, to chat to strangers online etc! Trust that she will make the right call when it comes to this other girl, there is zero need to punish your own child by taking away a good friend of hers when your daughter has done NOTHING wrong! Now, if your daughter tries weed/vapes, is caught going online cam sites etc... then would be the time to cut the friend out of her life.

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    • alyna2 months agoReport

      Did you not read? My daughter failed to notify me of what her friend was doing(vaping) and that is why her devices were taken away. If she kept this from me I just wonder what other things she kept to herself too. I hope you are not a parent!!

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  • lala
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    As a mother myself of 5 grown up 

    here my advice 

     Go on a [ date ] with your daughter 

    Bring her at Subway or any place she like 

    when your back home ask [ I said ask] her if you can talk alone with her 

     First thing you tell her its ;; I love   you  more than myself 

    I know as a mother i did some mistake with you 

    I am sorry but tonight I want a adult conversation with my beautiful daughter 

      Ask her how she feel about all this stuff going on with her little friend and LISTEN carefully 

     and only then with diplomacy you tell her how you   are feling and why you are so scared for her future 

    Your daughter need your support and love and understanding 

     Stop punishing her because as you can see your method is not working 

     Also compliment her on her clothes and her make up and all the success who is awaitng her in her future 

     Right now your daughter do not feel understand by you so she goes to this little girl 

    Be a mother but also be her best friend 

    thats what I had done with my boys and it work wonders 

    Good luck 

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