Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Jealousy issues help me please ?

So my husband already had a kid with someone and I understand I knew he had a kid before me but my jealousy started getting worse when we were in the process of trying to conceive our own because he kept on bringing up stuff that yes was helpful but it made me upset because I know he learned that from his ex wife’s experience of having his first child. This will be my first baby and I’ve been constantly reminded of the past and even though he’s with me now it still hurts me. I’m jealous I wasn’t his first and I know that I’m lucky in a way because he can be more helpful but I hate that he experienced this special intimate time before me. I know our birth and baby will be different but it’s still a challenge for me and I would love other step moms that are in similar situations help me feel better to overcome this? His ex wife is crazy and is out of the picture and she was awful but it still doesn’t make me feel better 

Update:

On top of that I get constant reminders of it with his son asking what things were like when he was a baby... it’s probably normal but so irritating

7 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Two things that'll make a woman crazy are infertility struggles and pregnancy. So if either of these apply to you you're probably not thinking as clearly as you should be. Don't beat yourself up for that. But use that information to tell yourself this is a temporary thing that will pass. The most important thing is to keep these feelings to yourself so they don't destroy your relationship. Just knowing that you should have expected this doesn't make it any easier to get through it while it's actually happening. I think you'll be fine in the end.

    • 1 month agoReport

      Thank you 

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  • 1 month ago

    His ex wife is crazy? Your question makes you look just as nutty.

    Really!! Stop your insanity. And I'm sure you knew he had a child with someone else BEFORE you got married. So why the insipid rant now? Stop it and be thankful for what you have. Honestly, grow UP

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Honestly don’t take it the wrong way but you’re being selfish and evil. You need to stop that way of thinking because it’s wrong and selfish, plain and simple

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  • 1 month ago

    Listen woman. A man who already knows how to change diapers and everything else is a gift from Heaven!

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You need to be open and honest with your spouse and seek his cooperation in helping you overcome this unhealthy jealousy. He needs to know what is bothering you and, if you can share your deepest feelings with him and encourage his support in helping you get over this hurdle, it is likely to make your marriage better, as well as dispel the fears that now plague you.

    • 1 month agoReport

      Thank you 

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  • 1 month ago

    You’re traumatizing yourself over an illusion. You’re making yourself create this narrative where your husband deliberately chose to have a child with his ex instead of you bc he favors her more. Though you might claim this is a lie, the problem is that you’re not genuinely believing it and that’s why you’re viewing the situation as more devastating than it actually is. There is never a sound reason to let the unchangeable haunt you bc you will be stuck in a loop of disappointment that only gets worse over time. Sometimes we really want something and when we finally get it, it’s not exactly as we pictured it, but it doesn’t make it any less good.

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    • Ana
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      And it’s also stupid to feel that way, because he didn’t even meet the Asker girl yet. How could he choose the Asker over his ex when he didn’t even happen to meet the Asker until much later in life? It’s just retarded to get mad at him over that; honestly, it’s low IQ 

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  • funny
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Jealous is dangerous, don’t lose what you have !

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