I have social anxiety, and my co-worker (female) ignores me when I say “good morning.” If she holds the door for me, should I not thank her?
I’m not being bitter, but rather do not want to make her feel uncomfortable by speaking to her, even if it’s just two words: thank you. So I want to know if it’s better that I stay silent when she holds the door or elevator for me. As ironic as it sounds, she is cordial when it comes to me walking behind her as she’s approaching a door. However, she totally ignores me, as I believe it’s because my facial tics creep her out (I can’t make eye contact). So I think she’s just being diplomatic — hold doors for me, but also shield herself from me, as she presumably doesn’t wish to even exchange meaningless pleasantries with me. Keep in mind I’m pleasant, work hard (to the point of staff speaking highly of me), and I don’t bother anyone. When I walk past the ladies’ workstations, I am pleasant and smile while greeting them “good morning” or “how are you?” or a friendly nod. But I DON’T stop by their workstations to hold them hostage with a conversation. I give everyone their space and go the extra mile when they ask me to do something work-related. But I’m not all in-your-face and creepy. If I’m guilty of anything, it’s having social anxiety which makes me have stage fright everywhere I go, which apparently makes me look creepy to this particular female, because she seems to make an effort to separate herself from me. Is it okay if I don’t say thank you when she holds the door or elevator for me? I don’t want to be a burden to her.
- BortLv 61 month ago
Her behavior is a bit rude if she's ignoring you but that's her choice and decision and it's not the end of the world. Keep being who you are, there's not a thing wrong with thanking a person for a kind act of holding a door for you. It would be un-social and rude of you if you didn't say thank you.
- Elaine MLv 71 month ago
You're overthinking it. Just accept that people have stuff on their minds.
- LoonaseeLv 41 month ago
Wow. You put yourself through a lot of unnecessary anxiety. You can learn to control your thoughts, learn to love yourself, stop giving so much weight to what others think. There are many tools online to help you do this. In the meantime, when someone holds a door for me, yes I tend to thank them for their consideration. Literally no thought to it one way or another, just seems like the polite thing to do.
- Anonymous1 month ago
I am tired of this crap. STOP IT AND DIE.