Please help!!!!!!!! ?

My sister in law lost her husband a year ago. The night he was dying she told my new sister in law and not me. We were at my inlaws and I kept asking what was happening. I was worried. They said nothing was happening. I have been in the family for 6 years and they always want to know everything about me and I am always open with them. Her husband was related to my family. Right after she lost her husband. She immediately started saying sorry to me and I said not to worry and I hugged her and she started dating someone else right after and she told us that she just met him a few weeks ago and I was so happy for her and supported her even tho everyone was mad with her. I had my mother in law over for dinner and asked where my sister in law was as they live together and she said she went for a walk. I said okay. the next day we found her coming into the house with her luggage and she was away with her boyfriend on holidays. my mother in law started yelling at me saying my sister in law didn't want us to know and how ashamed she was about her daughter. I didn't say anything and told my mother in law to relax and she said I can tell you are hurt and my sister in law started getting up in my face and yelled at me in front of my husband. asking if I was talking about her and I said I wasn't and I said I wasn't going to take this and that there all lie too much and make such a big deal out of nothing and I went home. Do I have a right to be mad. They live next door. 

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    3 days ago

    You've asked this EIGHT TIMES.  My concern is why you are so obsessed with what your sister in law says/does/thinks.  To quote me:  Would I be angry at a widow who didn't want to share the intimate details of her life with you? No. I was widowed in my late 20's. There were people I shared with and asked to explain to other people. For whatever reason, I was more comfortable with some people than others. For example, I could talk to my neighbor but not some members of my family.

    Maybe she thinks you're judgmental. Maybe she thinks you should be more focused on your life than hers. So you said, "You all look like liars because [you] lie so much about everything" and you can't understand why they don't share with you? You weren't going "to take this .. there (?) all lie too much" and stormed home? Not very adult.

    Give the widow some slack. Give the family some slack. You're sure that you don't spend a lot of time in other people's business, that the problem isn't you?

    "Right" to be mad? There is no such thing.

    Give the widow a break while she tries to put a life together. You sound like every widow's nightmare.

    I think the whole "when she met the new guy" conversation is very enlightening. My husband was every bit as dead 10 minutes after he died as he will be 10 years after he died. How/when/where she moves on is HER business, not yours.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 days ago

    i would just try to stay away from her

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