What's wrong with me?
I'm a 20 year old girl and I havent been in a relationship so far (I'm not really the so-called "relationship type" as I've grew up being shy and awkward around boys ..even though I'm pretty confident overall? Don't know why I get so uncomfortable and try too hard around guys... I'm not asexual as I think about sex every day and fantasize about being in a relationship except I can't open up to anyone..I recently agreed to go out with a guy but I lost feelings for him due to certain behaviors I considered turnoffs...I feel asexual sometimes as I'm more of an emotional attachment type of person rather than acting on spontaneous sexual tension...I can't exactly express my feelings the way I want to either and i wish i was more sexual and had more of a sex drive like my friends do..what should I do about this?
- SuperFutureLv 511 months agoFavorite Answer
You're not asexual if you think about sex every day. I think you might be the kind of person that needs to form an emotional bond with a guy before giving it up to him. Also, you need to focus on yourself, instead of trying to get in a relationship. Guys want girls who are quality, in the same way girls want guys that are quality and aren't talking to you specifically to be in a relationship. You need to be the kind of person a guy wants to chase after, not a girl who is ready and waiting. I think it would serve you well to go out and develop some hobbies, define your music tastes, etc. over the next year and also put yourself in a position to meet guys, and not just over the internet. Especially once you turn 21, you should be going out with your friends to bars and clubs, otherwise talk to more boys at school if you can. Most importantly, make sure you play the game correctly: this is a story of a young royal who was pursuing a girl, and ended up losing her because he didn't folow the directions laid down by his advisor.
"After a few of the marquis’s moves, she sensed the marquis was playing some sort of game, but the game delighted her. She did not know where he was leading her, but so much the better. His moves intrigued her, each of them keeping her waiting for the next one—she even enjoyed her jealousy and confusion, for sometimes any emotion is better than the boredom of security. Perhaps the marquis had ulterior motives; most men do. But she was willing to wait and see, and probably if she had been made to wait long enough, what he was up to would not have mattered. The moment the marquis uttered that fatal word “love,” however, all was changed. This was no longer a game with moves, it was an artless show of passion. His intention was revealed: He was seducing her. This put everything he had done in a new light. All that before had been charming now seemed ugly and conniving; the countess felt embarrassed and used. A door closed that would never open again."
The moral of the story is that you need to keep an air of mystery in your actions (whatever gender you may be imo), when it comes to playing the dating game.
- Carolynn MLv 611 months ago
You obviously have a sex drive, if you have sexual fantasies. Meanwhile, it just doesn't seem like you have met anyone who you feel all that attracted toward yet. You will, give it time.
I know what you mean about the behaviors of some guys being turn-offs. Believe me, i date sometimes, and usually it's one date, and i discover some really huge red flags about the guy which i could never live with. yes, everyone has little quirks, and those are something most of us can overlook. But big things right off the bat, no thanks.
Just give things time.
- AnaLv 611 months ago
You’re being weird and need to see a counselor before you sabotage your own chance at happiness and love