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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 3 months ago

my friend is possessive of me and doesn’t want me hanging out with other people! advice?

Basically me and this girl (lets call her Gab) met in the start of high school and quickly became best friends. There was also two other girls in our group (lets call them Cat and Nat). Me, Gab and Nat were the closest and Cat was kind of tagging along. But me and Gab decided to break friends with Nat because she started turning mean (not going to go into that).

After that it was me and Gab, sometimes Cat tagging along if she wasn’t hanging out with Nat. This was when I began getting to know Cat properly. She is a really nice person, so I wanted to hang out with her more. However, Gab didn’t like this. 

One mood she had was when I sat on the bus with Cat (usually sit with Gab) and we were watching NETFLIX together and laughing. After that I airdropped Gab a moment, she declined it, which was weird to me because I always airdrop her things. I messaged her and she left me on seen. I decided to leave it because I assumed she wanted to be left alone. However, when I get home I receive a HUGE text saying that she “wanted to sit with me on the bus” (I mostly sit with her?!) and that she heard us “talking and laughing” and that “we don’t do that anymore.”

I asked my parents for advice, because in the past I just apologised and made a fuss of her. They said she was being jealous and I shouldn’t let her control me.

These ridiculous moods have become a weekly thing, and they really put me down. I don’t even want to be her friend anymore because of this! What should I do?

5 Answers

  • Carmen
    Lv 4
    3 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Stop replying on anyone to be your friend just because a true friend doesn't need a reason to be your friend or be jealous of others in your circle of friends you're not a babysitter or a therapist enjoy your youth and deal with more mature wiser people life to short never let anyone dictate your choices or steal your joy a true friend will stick with you through thick and thin period good or bad times when everyone else might desert you a true friend won't....if this person who stresses you out can't understand all this you will have to make a touch decision to keep a calm heart and peace of mind. Take deep breaths pray over matter.

    • Pia3 months agoReport

      Thank you for the advice! 🧡 I’ve told her I want some space next week so hopefully she sees that her behaviour is inappropriate.

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  • Linda
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Gab is jealous of Cat because she thinks you replaced her friendship with hers. The best way to handle this is tell Gab that you like her too but want to enjoy other friends and encourage her to meet other friends as well. Then make time for her to do something a couple of times a month so she doesn't feel completely left out, but continue sitting with Cat as often as you want. She probably doesn't have many friends so she is a bit clingy and you are her security blanket. But she needs to learn that life is more fun when shared with several friends and not just one. She may not like it but that's life and you should not feel guilty.

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  • 3 months ago

    Tell her if she doesn't like it, too bad.

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  • 3 months ago

    Avoid anyone who tries to control you, that's all you have to remember and do.

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Stop apologizing to her, and start explaining to her. Your inappropriate apologies have misled her as to who you are.

    You can either stop being her friend or start being more real when you communicate with her. Your choice.

    • Pia3 months agoReport

      Yes she has had around 6 moods since that argument when I apologised and every one since then I have told her this isn’t ok. She doesn’t really listen to me and I’ve decided to take some space away from her 🧡

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