Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Business & FinanceOther - Business & Finance · 1 month ago

Do you agree with my parents?

I've been paying as much as I was able to since I started grade 10 and I could work. I bought my phone and computer, pay my phone bill, car payments, insurance and gas as well as my university tuition. I understand that they want me to learn the value of a dollar, but the expenses are adding up and really starting to stress me out. Every semester costs $4000, my car is $350 a month, phone is $50, and other costs like textbooks and clinical requirements (stethoscope, scrubs, CPR class, etc) are costing me a lot, and they expect me to be saving as well. This leaves almost no money to hang out with friends or do fun things, and they get really mad when I spend money on myself. I don't think this is fair considering that it's my own money, and I actually do save. I worked two jobs throughout high school because I had a feeling they wouldn't help me pay for uni, but it was much more manageable to work in high school. Uni is so much more demanding and working up to 20 hours a week to cover all my expenses while going to school fulltime just isn't sustainable anymore. They won't help me pay for anything, while they are making well into six digits. At the same time, they also have a lot of judgments. They wouldn't let me take off time to work before starting school, and they wouldn't let me get a used car instead of a new one. I have no idea what to do or how to talk to them about it.

Update:

Sometimes it really stings when I see my friend's parents who pay their whole way through school and don't want them to work so they can focus on school. I don't necessarily think that's best, but I wish I had some more help from them sometimes

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  • Amy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your parents have cut themselves off from you financially, so they don't get any input on decisions like what kind of car you buy. You can keep them up to date on what you've been doing, but you don't need to listen to their opinions.

    You should look into getting a government loan or even a scholarship to help cover tuition and fees. The school administrators may be able to help you find those.

    It's important to have some savings to cover an emergency (such as car repairs), but don't stress out too much about your long-term savings. You need to spend some money -- and time -- on "fun things" in order to stay sane. 

    If you're heading towards a burnout from working 20 hours on top of a full courseload, then you obviously need to cut back on either work or school. Unfortunately, without support you can't afford to cut back on work. 

    You mentioned your desire to work for a time before starting school. Taking a semester or two off is still an option. Work full time and bank some money before you go back to school.

    Or you can continue to split your time, but take fewer classes per semester. You might be able to catch up during the summer break. Or just take a little longer to graduate, same as if you'd taken the time off to work.

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  • 1 month ago

    Yes, I agree with your parents wholeheartedly.  People who are given it all are often not appreciative.  I knew a girl in uni whose parents paid for everything.  She laughed about it, mocked them and skipped so many classes that she was kicked out 3 or 4 times.  She got back in only because her parents footed the bill.  She laughed at how stupid they all were and since she wasn't paying for it, she didn't care and felt she could do whatever, whenever.  She was in our group but I kept her somewhat distant, as I wasn't too crazy about making her a good friend.  She was too abusive. Anyway, your expenses are NOT something parents must provide.  They are ALL extras - luxuries, non-essentials, so it is right that you pay for them if you want them.  ALL of it.  If it's too much, sell the car and take the bus, or work more hours.  You chose the car.  Stop BSing us.

    • Ashley1 month agoReport

      pls tell me how my tuition is a non essential luxury. the car is for my nursing clinicals. they start at 645AM and they can be outside the city. not exactly a bus situation or I would save the cost and take transit.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    < and they wouldn't let me get a used car instead of a new one >

    Troll time, nice attempt

    • Ashley1 month agoReport

      they think it’s unsafe not to have warranty on the lease. literally would not let me.

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  • 1 month ago

    I don't agree with your parent.  If you are the one buying it, you buy something more reasonable in cost if you would like (such as the car).

    On the flip side, it does seem like they pay for some things since you haven't listed food or housing/utilities/medical insurance in your expenses.

    I think you need to sit down with them.  Calmly address they are providing conflicting requirements and ask them to help you create a budget that meets their criteria while allowing you a little flexibility. 

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