My dad hates my boyfriend?
My dad hates my boyfriend. We been together for over a year now, and he wants us to get a place together, but my dad hates my boyfriend! He hates the way he talks, dresses, his job! The whole 9 yards! My dad is extremely old school, and some say he's more than old school. He believe you should be married before living together, or sleeping under the same roof. My boyfriend should pay for everything, and fully be able to support me where I don't have to work. My dad came by one day and we were in bed together sleeping. (Fully dressed) My dad now despises. Recently he got a flat at my place, ran into some issues so I drove him home, and he came back the next day, and I let him have a key to my place, and he ended up staying a few days while I was working. My dad was beyond mad I let him have a key, and was even more mad I let him stay while I was at work.
He has his fault of course, and things he needs to work on, but so do I, and a part of me really wants to get a place together, but my dad would go ape $h!÷ . He already took the keys back to his house I had because I let my boyfriend have a key to my apartment, and him hang out while I was at work. My boyfriend his side I am already expected at all his family evens, and family photos.
What do I do?
We won't see eye to eye, talking will turn into an arugement. Unless we break up. That is the only way I see my dad being happy is my boyfriend and I were to break up.
- FoofaLv 71 month agoFavorite Answer
Your father may be insane (in addition to being "old school") or perhaps your boyfriend isn't as universally great as you seem to think. But it sounds like you're an adult who can make your own decisions. You may just have to distance yourself from Dad for a while.
- TealLv 71 month ago
These arguments continue because you allow them to. Tell your father that your relationship is no longer up for discussion and that you won't tolerate disrespect towards your boyfriend. You will have this conversation only once. If he doesn't listen, immediately shut it down. Hang up, walk away, and refuse to engage with him until he is ready to behave appropriately. If this hurts your relationship with him, it's his own fault. He knows what he needs to do.
But if you aren't willing to stand up for your boyfriend, then you should cut to the chase and break up. You don't have a future with someone who comes second to your father's pride.
- PatriciaLv 71 month ago
Is your dad dating this boyfriend of yours, or are you dating him? YOU are, so i'm not sure why your dad is having a meltdown. You're free to make your own choices, whether your dad likes it or not.
As far as giving a boyfriend a key to your parents' house (if that's what you did), that wasn't a good idea. I'd have a meltdown if one of my sons gave a girlfriend a key to our home. No.
If you have your own place, well... it's none of your Dads business if your boyfriend has a key or not.... you're the one paying the rent, and you can decide who comes and goes, who has a key, etc.
As far as you being "expected" to be in your boyfriend's family photos and at all gatherings, i'd think it's up to you whether you want to go. Expectations are a set up for a big let down, so his family shouldn't have expectations of you (or of anyone).
You're not alive to make your dad happy. Your life is about YOU.
- ProfGene.TogolotLv 71 month ago
If you are over 18 your dad can not run your love life. If that is the case do what you like and let him get over it. If you are underage you must obey him.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- PearlLv 71 month ago
i would just keep your boyfriend away from him
- sunshine_melLv 71 month ago
Would your father be happy with anyone?
He needs to realise that you're not a child, and that you're free to make your life choices.. He cannot control or define what you do, or who you love.
- RichardLv 71 month ago
Is your boyfriend mature? Is he personally responsible? Is he educated beyond high school? Is he worldly? Does he have some kind of life plan? Does he have some savings? Does he treat you relatively well, and NEVER uses violence? Is he employed beyond an entry-level job or in school? Is he faithful to you? Is he psychologically mature? Does he have no significant debt?
If he cannot satisfy at least nine of these, he is not a prime choice for a lifetime partner.
- 1 month ago
I did not know your dad had a boyfriend! Is he a spin doctor like you?
- 1 month ago
- 1 month ago
It’s your choice at the end of the day