Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender & Women's Studies · 1 month ago

Why is a 28 year old man considered young but a 28 year old woman considered old?

I was recently given a lot of crap for not keeping up with what most 28 year old women my age do, and I keep getting the same responses such as "I'm not getting any younger", "All the good ones will be taken", or "They'll be drying up soon." They get upset when I tell them that I'm not nearly ready to be settling down nor might I ever be. It's fine if some people truly want to do this and enjoy it, but it's just not my way of life.

However, these are the exact same people who tell a 28 year old man that I know that he can "Slow down", "Explore", or "You have so much life ahead of you." Then they got upset with me when I gave them a bit of an eyeroll and called them out on their crap. Why do people treat men and women of the same age VERY differently? If a woman hasn't or doesn't want to do all these things yet, it's embarrassing; but when a man is taking his time or not doing them at all they are applauding him?

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  • 1 month ago

    When i was 28 no one ever looked at me as "old" except my 7 year-old son.

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  • God
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Why do feminists come up with straw man arguments to claim oppression where none exists? 

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  • 1 month ago

    never heard anyone say something even remotely close to that.

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  • 1 month ago

    "Why is a 28 year old man considered young but a 28 year old woman considered old?"

    Strip aside all religious and culturally ingrained ideas and you are left with the  biological realities.  The primary role of the human female is to reproduce.  At roughly 28, the big downward slide in fertility is just about to begin. By 30, 90% of a woman's eggs are gone.  At 40, there is only 3% left.

    https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/women-fertility-...

    Men don't face these same physical constraints.

    So the "pressure" usually comes from parents who want to be grandparents, or other extended family members that were all reared in the previous family culture of traditionalism.

    If you don't care for children, then you need not accept any of this "pressure".  If you do, then you better listen to those that understand the reality of biology ....and even tradition has that reality baked into it's "pressure" tactics.

    .

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  • Zirp
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Biologistic and religious bullcrap about selfish genes and our "duty" to make babies

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  • 1 month ago

    As a 29 year old man who has seen so many people (especially women) settle down and throw away the vibrancy of their life in their early 20's, I think it's refreshing to see both men and women still hold onto their individuality, have fun, and doing things at their own pace in their late 20's and early 30's. Life is short, and only YOU truly decide what to do with your own life. To hell with any "status quo", there are more people in your position than you think.

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  • Bill
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Not even true. I'm a 37 years old man that never got married, and I assure you when I was 28 I was getting a good bit of grief for still being single. In my case I had it even worse than you since I had a kid at the time. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Stand your ground!

    Screw their pressure!

    Many men who are married in middle age feel trapped, so explore other choices i.e. middle age crisis akin to a women going through the menopause. Outcome adultery, and sometimes divorce!

    Men over 50 have poor sperm! A geneticist said.

    No different from older women having trouble conceiving.

    He said if a woman wants a healthy child avoid men over 50 such as himself.

    Financially older men may be successful. Be able to offer material comfort. 

    People feel threatened with single women.

    When a woman becomes a widow, her "friends" are petrified ! They fear their husband will get too close to her! 

    See her as a better prospect and ditch them!

    So that they in itself tells you something!

    A widow losses not only her husband, but is also shunned by her so called female friends. The number of reasons they come up with is inconceivable!

    The best being "people will get the wrong idea".

    A married woman can be viewed as pliable, pressure can be put upon her to do the right thing i.e. stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids, or lack of money.

    Men are encouraged to prowl about lasciviously and are patted on the back for being little better then "tramps" i.e. the term employed to describe sexually active women!

    Most women who marry young regret it. Over time people change. The men tend to be Neanderthal, expecting to be waited on hand and foot. Whilst she is busy physically, mentally she is bored out of her mind doing nothing other than housework, and feeding the kids. The husband DOESN'T find her exciting! He's too busy oogling other women at his place of work. 

    An unmarried mother now with a son 18 years old said she was "glad she had NEVER married her son's father". He was a DJ. Over time they drifted apart, with nothing in common. Not to mention he was busy servicing his groupies. So they split. Her son has been accepted for an apprenticeship, whilst she is training to become a nurse. She is a youthful looking 39.

    Another who married at 21, and gave birth to a son, found the husband was another child! So they divorced. She cohabited with another man had a daughter, but things didn't work out, so they split. Now she lives with a guy who she used to go to school with.

    A woman found her husband was not only abusive, but tightfisted. He would pocket the children's allowances. Leaving her with no money. So she dumped him. Now she lives with a man who works as a plumber, who has a son from a former relationship. She said it the choice is between being happy just living with him, or forcing him into marriage - his past relationship put him of marriage, then she would rather be happy. Financially they have a joint bank account!

    All these women work and are happy being independent.

     

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Because a 28 year old woman is about halfway through the period of her life in which she can make babies, whereas a 28 year old man has barely started in the period of his life in which he can earn money.

    These are the things that people tend to value the most in their partner. That means that many 28 year old men are still considered worthless in the dating market, but they can expect their value to rise as their earnings rise. A 28 year old woman on the other hand is still valued rather high in the dating market but her value will only go down, so if she wants to find the best partner she possibly could then she's going to be better off settling down sooner rather than later. That's not to say that she should settle down with the first guy, but that she'd benefit from dating with the primary purpose of finding a life partner.

    • brother_in_magic
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Only if she wants kids and even then--better alone than sorry.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I guess it boils down to biology. Women can only give birth to healthy kids for so long, and men have all the time in the world to settle down and have a family and kids. I bought into this when I was young and married just to be married like everyone else, and it was a COMPLETE disaster. I was lucky to get out of the marriage without having had kids with this man. Just ignore people that pressure you to marry or have kids. It's your life and they aren't the ones who have to live it - you are.

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