Why won’t he just admit this?!?
Over the past month my ex and I have been catching up, Last week he told me he just wanted something casual and didn’t really wanna go back to the relationship which is ok bc I think we rushed into things a little too fast but I like talking to him.
he said how he wanted to go to Miami and I teased him and was like “for the girls?” And he was like “definitely for the girls ” which Idk why you’d tell someone you’re trying to hook up with that. I told him I went to the animal shelter and he was like “aww why’d you do that?” And I was like “to see animals and to feel better, I wanna volunteer though ” and he was like “yeah that makes sense. I’ve thought about volunteering there too” and I said how I wanted to adopt but had nowhere to put them but I would try to volunteer this summer and he was like “yeah honestly it’s like that for me too 😭 and yeah that would be nice : )”
When we were together he didn’t talk about animals lol and we stayed up past midnight talking about having a house and pets and at first I thought he was gonna ask to sext bc it was late but he didn’t. and I was saying I was gonna make my kids clean and he was like “ they’re gonna have to be old enough 😬” and he was responding fast. Also he didn’t text all day but texted a few hours back saying he finished his exam and is responding kinda fast now, does he like me or not?
- AnaLv 61 month ago
It sounds like you both like each other, but it seems that neither one of you has the discipline or the self-restraint to make a long-term relationship work.
Maybe you should talk out what your real goals are, honestly with each other, and say “let’s not play games or lie, let’s just be totally honest here about what we really want on a deep level” and then just talk and get it out in the open
Maybe you find out that you both DO wanna try a relationship.
If you really don’t wanna date him, then you shouldn’t be mad if he’s seeing other girls. Why be jealous of a guy who’s just a casual sex buddy to you?
- James W.Lv 71 month ago
Could you possibly be making dating choices mainly based upon whether someone likes you and you like them? Unfortunately this approach to dating, used by most people, usually leads to a broken heart.
May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).
My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), forget about this guy unless he’s a strong person (sorry but it doesn't sound like it), and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.
(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)
Hope this helps!
PS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:
1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)
2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating
3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)
4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question
5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around
6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)
7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you
8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful
9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you
10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you
11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet
12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes
13. Be known as a hard worker
14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)
15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all
16. Truly care about other people
17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable
18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this
19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person
20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you
21. Don’t act desperate for a dateSource(s): The book True Love Lasts
- gLv 71 month ago
You need to go back to that part where he told you specifically "he just wanted something casual and didn’t really wanna go back to the relationship." It sounds like you're making assumptions that he doesn't want to rush a relationship - he's *telling you* he wants casual, no commitments. Pay attention!
- historyLv 71 month ago
Clearly he "likes" you but he's not your boyfriend.
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- nanuLv 61 month ago
- HelenLv 71 month ago
He likes you for a lay. That's all.
He's been very clear that he doesn't want a relationship again.
What he told you basically translates to "I don't want you back, I just want some side action."
Are you comfortable with that?
- TealLv 71 month ago
I think he was just making conversation and you are reading in to it. He told you where you stand and made it clear that he is seeing other people. You say you are ok with this, but if that were true you wouldn't go through your conversations like a forensic psychologist looking for evidence that he wants more. It is possible for him to like you as a person and even care for you without ever wanting to commit to you. You are setting yourself up to get hurt and should distance yourself.
- Anonymous1 month ago