My Ex Just Told Me She Still Has Feelings. What Should I Say?
So long story short my ex and I broke up back in April, a month after our one year anniversary, and we never completely stopped talking. For a little while we talked in ways so we didn't feel like it was actually over and then we just stopped talking for a while. When school started back up we casually texted now and then but dur texting a conversation she called and told me she still had feelings and that she never really lost them. She claimed that the break up was just a way of her to excuse her depression by putting it on me. I dont really know what she meant by that, but all I know is she still has feelings. Me, on the other hand, have them in the back kfy mind shere I pushed them and if I ever think about her I remind myself of how I'm still happy without her around and the bad way I was feeling around the end of the relationship. I'm not going to get back together with her, as the relationship added a lot of stress and overthinking in my life and I struggled with sports and school some. I know I should figure this out myself, but idk what to say, so if anyone could give me a good response that would be amazing.
Edit: I guess it wasn't really long story short
- Anonymous1 month ago
Tell her that while you still really care about her, it really tore you up when you broke up and that it was a terribly painful time for you. Unfortunately after 8 months, you have moved on and gotten over her. And it would be really unfair to be with someone you care about when you know you can't be committed to her and because of the pain of the breakup that you just don't see a path to a real future together as anything other than friends. Or just tell her that you want to support her as a friend when she's feeling depressed, but that you just don't have it in you to be with someone that's depressed. If she can't handle her depression and tries to blame it on you, how the heck are you supposed to handle it?
- 1 month ago
This is tough...I mean you already made a choice to not get back with her and I think you won't change your mind. Make sure you are firm on that decision and don't think twice. You just have to be truly honest with her...the truth hurts, but there really is no easy way to do it. Make sure you meet with her in person somewhere quiet. Tell her that you are figuring yourself out and you left everything behind, which is pretty much what you did. Don't blame her for anything though, seems to me she didn't do anything wrong and it hurts enough she's hearing this. Tell her that you needed to put everything behind to move forward in your life. I think she will understand this.
If she doesn't accept this and tries to talk you back into the relationship, which most likely won't happen. Still, you have to stand firm with your decision. Make sure you say everything you want on your mind. Make peace with this relationship. Try to hug her at the end to comfort her one last time. This is super tough to break someones heart...I wish you good luck!