Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Should I break off my engagement if my partner keeps changing mind about having children?

My fiancée already has two kids from a precious marriage and keeps going back and forth about having a child. I don’t have any children and I am absolutely sure I want a family with my own child. Is it fair that he keeps going back and forth? Is this some kind of manipulation tactic?

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  • Raja
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes you should break up .Otherwise you will become a Nanny looking after his children. Select a man who will treat you as his beloved wife and make you the mom of his children.Dump him.

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  • 1 month ago

    It sounds unlike manipulation, but more like ambivalence about having more children. His former marriage is "previous", not "precious", right?  You had best think carefully about whether to marry him, and since you are so determined to have a child of your own, do NOT marry him unless and until he gives you the clear commitment that he is willing to have a child with you. And do look at his ability to provide for a third child, when he is already (presumably) paying child support for the other two. And would he have both the desire and the energy to parent a third child as well?  You are putting the engagement ahead of such decisions, and you should postpone it until you have a clear sense of direction in this matter.  

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  • 1 month ago

    You are engaged to wed a man with two kids already, you are absolutely certain you want babies of your own AND you think he's a manipulative person who is unfair to you?

    Yes. You break off the engagement. I've no clue what sort of a man he is (although likely on a tight budget) but YOU don't remotely sound like a woman happy to wed a man she feels incredibly fortunate to have found love with. Not at all!

    Was it a typo that you referred to his past marriage as a "precious" one? Did you mean previous? You don't seem happy. Doesn't mean it's his fault. But you seem to greatly doubt you'll get what you want from marrying this man! Why wed a man you don't trust?

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Whatever it is you clearly can't marry this guy. Whether or not to have kid(s) is probably the single most important point of agreement a couple has to make.

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Regardless of whether it is or isn't manipulation, this is so fundamental that any couple who are not in agreement would be foolish to marry with this issue looming unsettled.

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  • 1 month ago

    Be very clear that this is a deal breaker - if he's not willing to definitely commit to having children with you, you need to move on.

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  • 1 month ago

    You know the answer.  Put on your big girl panties and find a differetn man

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  • A C
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yes, if having a child is important to you.  He could have a vasectomy and not tell you.  

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  • Linda
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Either your bf wants another child or he doesn't. He shouldn't be stringing you along. If you've never had any children of your own, wanting a child is very understandable and natural. It isn't fair that he keeps going back and forth and won't give you a straight answer. I don't think he is necessarily manipulating you, but I do not think he wants anymore but he doesn't have the guts to be honest with you. As far as answering the question should you break off your engagement if he continues changing his mind about kids? I would tell him you want an answer and if he changes his mind again, it's over because this isn't fair to you. Then if he keeps jerking your chain around, leave him. I hope it doesn't come down to this and he will agree to have kids with you, but if he won't, leave. You deserve honesty and the chance to have children. Good luck!

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  • glcang
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Wow.He already had been through the kid stuff and is probably exhausted .

    If he is uncertain and you are certain then you need to move on.

    Fair hasn’t a thing to do with it.

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