Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

I am becoming upset, but am I wrong to feel this way ?

So, my friend is blind and obviously can’t drive. I just lost my job and it’s a lot of miles on my car - not including how much gas money I have spent driving him places. He can take the bus, but refuses to do so. Therefore, putting me in the position to go get him and bring him home. I never have received any gas money before. On top of this, he only comes to my house because he’s too lazy to clean his house and let me come over. He’s always hungry and eats my food and drinks my Gatorade. Mind you, Gatorade and the food are cheap, but I’m not getting anything in return for this. 

Then my friend is autistic, and he doesn’t drive. I get gas money from him and he’s offered to come over, as well, as mom has paid for my food when she has taken him and I out. To me, this is a good friendship to me.

Then on the other hand, a friend of mine doesn’t have a vehicle. He lives way on the opposite side of town. He has take Uber or Lyft, but mostly, I drive him around too and don’t get anything in gas. Especially not having a stable paycheck that I used to and always constantly cleaning my car out and my home from them always coming over, 

I’m getting a little irritated and upset. I feel like I should get something in return. Maybe I am wrong, but what they don’t understand is that it’s my place and car I have to clean. My food and water they drink. My car that I have to put oil, gas, and other maintenance into it. Am I wrong to feel this way? 

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    No, you're feeling exactly how you should. You need to be firmer with them, I understand  some of them have special needs, but they are also adults, living their own life, taking advantage of you. Don't give them rides all the time when there are other means of transportation. Maybe you need to put locks on where the food and drinks are. But in order for this to get better, add some restrictions.

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  • Carmen
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    It’s understandable to feel as you do what needs to happen is more communication on your part to everyone so plans can succeed and you can keep a calm heart and peace of mind and you’re not overwhelmed or feel misused or burned out everyone needs help eventually but no one should feel unappreciated for helping others someone is getting checks for all of your friends especially disabled ones so if they are not chauffeuring them around and being paid or not using up their food then you shouldn’t have to go broke just to help them a wise person sees danger and protects themselves it’s fine to do good deeds and even ok not to want anything in return just doin it out the kindness of your heart but everything has a limit pray over matter . 

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Next time the ones that don't compensate you on gas money - you tell them sorry but I can't come and get you today (or can't take you today).  Keep tellng them this.  They will find other transportation.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If it's just one time I wouldn't consider it a big deal but if they're constantly making a habit of it that's when it crosses the line into taking advantage of you, ya know?  

    As selfish as it comes across, you need to be able to sustain yourself too.  You can't be a welfare program for the entire city and give all of yourself away like that.  It's exhausting and will potentially put you in dire straits.

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  • 1 month ago

    No you're not wrong. Tell them if you are feeling taken advantage of, and suggest a remedy (like a certain fee per mile of ride service, and a weekly contribution to meal and snack service). I'd leave the cleanup as your contribution to the friendship, but stop the outflow of cash.

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  • 1 month ago

    i would just tell people they need to chip in or they cant get rides

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    have you ever asked for gas money?

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  • 1 month ago

    You are not a personal assistant nor is it your job to help these people. I know that you feel entitled to help them since they are your pals and they have disabilities, but if there is no legitimate room in your finances nor is there time for you to do all of this and stay sane, then don't do it any more. It is not impossible for your friends to find other people to help them so that you aren't the only one that's having to take them places. I assume that they have some sort of government assistance, and if not, maybe try helping them out. This is what our taxes are for, afterall. I understand the guilt that you may feel for feeling upset for helping people in need, but you are human and you come first. You can nicely help them get help elsewhere.

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  • Murzy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Ask him for gas money.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think youre wrong to feel that way and maybe you should talk to them about it

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