Wife always angry after baby?
this weeks blow up, last night the baby woke up at 11ish, I gave her a bottle and ran downstairs to let the dogs out and close up the house, when I came up the baby finished the bottle but was wide awake and gassy. Wife freaks out and blames me, going on and on about how I left her with her bottle for 2 mins.
"I'm very disappointed with you today" she says.
meanwhile, I'm home with the baby in the am, feed/change/ drop her off at day care/pick up at daycare.. everyday.
last night I cooked, cleaned up, took care of the dogs, did the dishes. After the baby woke up I come to find her re-doing the dishes I already did saying "I didn't do them"
I basically told her, "im sick of hearing this BS, I do a lot around here everyday and I'm sick of you taking your stress out on me."
Last week she did something far worse, she left the baby in the crib with a boppy pillow and when I got up and heard the baby crying I found her face smashed against the side (deadly). I then discovered she had 2 drinks before this happened so she was passed out and confused when she woke up. The next morning I sternly but calmly told her "never again"... If I did something like this I would never hear the end of it.
It happens once a week, how do I get her to stop?
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
The best money you'll ever spend in your life will be to hire a night nurse once in a while so you two can get some sleep and stop being at each other's throats. There's a reason you have to have a rock solid relationship before you bring a child into it...and this is that reason.
- Barb OuthereLv 71 month ago
Sounds like the wife may have returned to work too soon after the birth? Given that you are dropping the baby off at daycare, I assume you both are working, and the little one is still new?
She might be feeling like she is failing to be superMum, being able to work all day, then care for the baby, be with you, - wife, mother, employee, - and repeat. Yes you are doing a lot, and she might even feel that it indicates YOU think she is failing here too. May not be reasonable but sometimes emotions aren't reasonable.
Could even be some Post Natal Blues (or worse) affecting her too. A good talk about what she is feeling, how you feel and some possible solutions to any problems might help the marriage as well as her current state.
- harryt62Lv 41 month ago
It will never stop. Anything you do will be wrong and anything she does wrong will be your fault.
- Anonymous1 month ago
If your wife is putting the child at risk - "smashed against the side (deadly)" - it is YOUR OBLIGATION as a parent to keep the child safe.
You're worried about her criticizing you; meanwhile, she drinks and doesn't keep the child safe? You ARE aware how easy it is to locate you, right?
How do you get her to stop? You pack up the child and LEAVE, and then the child is safe. OR you report your wife's conduct to the Police.
Ridiculous that your concern is criticism when the child could have died.
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- JerryLv 61 month ago
If you don't want to be rebuked for doing a poor job of washing the dishes, then do a better job of washing the dishes. Duh. If you're not actually cleaning the dishes thoroughly then you're NOT being useful -- you're spinning your wheels, putting out the energy but not accomplishing anything useful.
My husband used to be a careless dishwasher. Sure, he'd pass the soapy dish cloth over every part of each dish, but if that failed to remove food residue he didn't notice. We finally made a deal that I took over some other chore and he took over all the dish washing while I did all the putting away of the clean dry dishes.
Knowing his careless habits, I would of course inspect each item before putting it away. And if it wasn't thoroughly washed I'd mark the area in washable marker set it aside to be rewashed. After a few months it finally got through his mental block that he should be doing that inspection himself, doing that rewashing without me being involved. And we no longer have those "These dishes you washed -- they aren't clean" discussions.
Do you have a good light where you're doing dishes, a light that will let you see that you've missed places?
- A HunchLv 71 month ago
Your wife had 2 drinks and was passed out? You want us to believe this? We don't unless each drink was 4 ounces of 100% proof alcohol.
I don't know why your wife would take the dishes out of the cabinet or dish washer to re-do them.
If you simply washed the dishes and put them in the sink, how was your wife supposed to know they were finished?
But to be honest, I can't figure out anything in your story about the baby:
- either your baby is old enough to be left alone with a baby and is also about to move around the bobby herself.
- or she isn't old enough to move around the bobby and isn't old enough to hold / be left with a bottle.
- Brandon CLv 41 month ago
Women take their anger and stress out on their man. That's just how it is and it will never change. It sounds like motherhood is a bit too much for her at the moment, all you can do is try to help her cope with the baby and the added stress. But in regards to her taking her stress out on you and not appreciating what your doing, you might as well pull out a lawn chair and grab a snickers, sadly its never enough for women and they are never satisfied. It's just the truth.
- mmmLv 71 month ago
it sounds to me like you are p*ssed your wife didn't like that you did the dishes half as*sed
your wife is allowed to relax and have a few glasses of wine once a week - she was passed out? that seems odd - she may have been confused because you woke her out of a deep sleep
I would suggest throwing the boppy pillow out if it could harm the child.