Quitting Color Guard?
I'm in Winter Guard season at my school now, and it has been a rough one so far. I suck at dance, and it takes me a longer time to learn routines than others, even with practice. Not trying to be too personal, but I was placed as someone who has no spot unless someone else quits the team with a newer girl. Everyone who was in the same position as me are in a higher level. The girls and coaches treat me like everyone else, but I feel like I'm still a burden for them. I've always been in more academic extracurriculars and very few dance classes. This is a much of a greater change.
I'm not sure if I am the right type for this team. I try to be positive every time I'm at practice, but I feel stressed and depressed realizing that I have to go to it more than 3 times out of the week. I love the people in it, but I don't think I'm the right type for them. I want to explore new things in the school, but I also don't have a lot of time for them because of guard.
I'm terrified quitting, worried that I'll regret it and would be hated for it. A lot of girls in my position before have quit, also.
Yesterday, the dance instructor in our team came up to me and told me that I need to do her work or she will throw me off her choreography tomorrow. She kept shouting at me to work faster. I've tried my best to keep up but it hasn't been enough. Maybe she was trying to scare something out of me, but it's made me realize that I have no compassion in this anymore.