Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 2 months ago

I feel like a failure, like I’m alone, I feel invisible. I no longer wanna be here. ?

I’m 18 and even though I have an okay job making more than most 18 year olds I feel empty. I have no idea what I wanna do with my life.what I wanna do as a career.  I don’t have much of a mother. She has never been emotionally available for me. I try to be close to her, tell her things and she runs back and tells everyone! Then when I tell her how I feel about her telling people everything I tell her, she would laugh. Then when I say “I’m not telling you anything else” she would say “that’s fine”. She recently got a new boyfriend and she has went backwards. Started back smoking and drinking. I felt some type of way about it because how can you be this close and open to a man and have not yet learned to do that with your children. I feel as though she needs to be working on our family. I recently brought up therapy and I was laughed at and I also recently just got out of a relationship of a year and a half. He was best friend. Literally my only friend, and I lost him, as a boyfriend and a best friend. He did a lot of things do me during the relationship but I miss being close to someone. My younger sister I am close to, we talk about things but we aren’t close in the way where we cry into each other arms. But she got a girlfriend and we barely even speak anymore. My older sister we aren’t close at all, same with my older brothers and my younger brother.What makes it all worse it that I’m an introvert while everyone else is extroverts so while... continued in update question

Update:

I’m an introvert while everyone else is extroverts so while I’m at home in my own mind everyone else has friends to vent to, and people to hang out with, my only friend was my ex boyfriend. I try to meditate, and get chastised about it, because according to them black people don’t do those things. I try to tell them my greatest dreams and they down them. Like I’ll never be able to accomplish them. I feel like I’m being left behind. I don’t feel like it’s okay to be an introvert. I feel invisible

Update 2:

 I do so many things for everybody and never get anything in return. I’m a people pleaser because I’m an introvert I know people probably aren’t that drawn to me. I’m quiet. So I give give give hoping that one day. I’ll recieve. I wanna be heard. I wanna heal so bad, but I think this is where it ends. I don’t know if I can continue like this. I’m a pushover. I don’t stand up for what I believe in because, back to the first thing, people already aren’t drawn to me so if I disagree I feel as

Update 3:

I feel as though that’ll be another person who doesn’t want to be around me. It’s not easy for me to make friends because I have such low self esteem. I can’t even look people in the eyes. When I cry out for help I get called a weak crybaby by my mother. So I bottle it up until I end up writing one of these whilst I’m crying my heart out! Idk what to do anymore. Even while I’m wallowing I’m so much pain I can’t help but to think about how much I might hurt the people I love if I was to no longer

Update 4:

if I was to no longer be here! So here I am, lost, confused and I absolutely don’t know what to do. I feel as though life isn’t meant for everyone, myself included. I feel like life has nothing left to offer me. I’ve been through so much in these 18 years. I don’t know how to handle it. I have so many regrets. I just don’t know what to do. If anybody can offer any words, I’d appreciate it. I’m so very lost. 

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 2 months ago

    Its ok to be shy.  Im shy. Learn to love yourself and dont worry about what other people think.  If you focus too much on the past or the future, you wont enjoy the present.  Enjoy who you are and what your doing now.  Balance trying to be pleasant with doing pleasant things, and dont worry too much about mistakes.  Life is hard for EVERYONE.. Remember to seek friends who are introverts who might enjoy your company..

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You make more than most 18 year-olds because most 18 year-olds are full-time students who maybe have a part-time job. So focus on figuring out what you want to do with your life. Getting the degree or vocational certificate to get a real job will make everything else feel better. Also, you're 18 so you can go into therapy by yourself. It won't change Mom but it will give you more tools to deal with her and with all the other things that bother you.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 2 months ago

    A Noose would make a nice friend in times like these.

    You should consider getting one

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.