He left me after 8 years and married someone else in a year... why is life so unfair?  ?

Hi. I need help.  I’ve been having emotional breakdowns. My ex bf of 8 years tried to break up with me last year January  Bc I gained 10lbs.... I promised him I’d lose the 10lbs and then in June he broke up with me Bc I told him to stop bleaching his skin.  I got depressed and was so sick. And then few months(December 2018)  I found out he was a dad. Pretty much the whole time he was cheating on me with this girl from his church ..and got her pregnant. I got on social media today and saw them getting married from a story someone posted. He was telling her how much he loved her and will love her till the end. I started crying Bc I wanted all these things with Him and he went and got it with someone else in less than a year. He treated me so badly the whole time he was cheating on me with this girl when all he had to do was tell me he messed up. And now I’m having emotional breakdowns Bc I feel like I lost big time. How can he move on so fast, baby and wife? Like why is life So unfair ? I stood by his side when he had nothing. The moment he became an IT guy, he dropped me and had a happy life with someone. How do I move on from this? I’m tired of crying. 

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I'm going to guess this didn't happen in a "developed" nation, because skin bleaching = Eek! But you apparently had such low self esteem that you let this go on for far longer than it should have. The positives to take away from this would be: You don't seem to have been left with a child to raise on your own. You've lived and learned and will probably ask for questions next time. You've hopefully learned to identify the red flags that you likely ignored in this relationship (such as being in a eight year relationship with no marriage proposal.

    You can't erase the past but you can work hard to not repeat it. Work on yourself and try to understand why someone was able to take advantage of you like this. Once you recognize that you won't be prey for the next loser who wants to abuse you.

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  • 1 month ago

    Well crying sure isn't going to do you any good, it messes up the way your face looks. How old are you?

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  • mmm
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    1. he is not the man for you

    2. did you really want a baby with a man like this?

    3. don't you think in the end he will do to her what he did to you, but you won't have the baby/family to deal with?

    4. listen to yourself, he treated you so badly but you feel like you lost out? NO DEAR, you barely made it out!!! go thank the God you praise

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Why are you so emotional that this apparently lying man broke up with you?

    You would rather have this man in your life than be alone?

    Speak to a therapist.

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  • 1 month ago

    It sounds like you and the ex boyfriend had some control issues and were giving each other orders about what to do with your personal lives outside of the relationship. That stuff never works. If you wanted to lose ten pounds, you'd do it on your own. If he wanted to stop bleaching his skin, he'd have done it on his own. We can't be telling our partners what to do with their bodies, how to dress, how to behave, etc., and expect things to go well.

    I'm sure it's upsetting that you two are no longer a couple. It's hard after a break up, i think most of us can relate. But why would you want someone who wasn't into the relationship with you to stay with you?

    And if you stood by his side when he had nothing, you did. That's all in the past. RIGHT NOW, your life has changed, and you have many opportunities in front of you.

    There are a lot of websites out there about how to survive a break up. Maybe you could find some great advice by doing your research.

    And time heals. Again, i'm sorry for your struggle

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  • Marc
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    You say life is unfair but i think your lucky an life is being fair to you and unfair to the new wife, you have lost him but he is unworthy and not good enough and she has gained him and he is not a good catch, your life just turned around in a good direction your now free to live and find someone decent and kind an loving ,respectful , honest etc shes stuck with him so feel sorry for her and thankfull your not with him take care good luck

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  • .
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Tis Better to have Loved and Lost, Than have never have Loved at all 

    Cheer up, it's better to know now then 20 years from now when you would be caring for teens and getting then through high school on your own, It's obvious he will end up being a loser to this woman and her child in a few years. 

    You have time to find a real winner, but don't be in a rush, start doing all the things that you can on your own, sign up to a hiking club, rent a boat and go boating with a group of friends. All those things that you have thought of doing but have never gotten around to doing them.

    You will be fine, Take Care, Sending you lots of great positive thoughts and energy.

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  • 1 month ago

    Oh, get a backbone! This guy is a jerk! Why would you even want to be with a guy who was upset over 10 lbs.? Find someone who likes you the way you are. This guy and his wife will be split up in no time. 

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